Sunday, January 18, 2015

I can't tell....

This morning, I look pale. With a dry choked mouth and a face puffed like a tiny hot air balloon, I look like I am a survivor, of a crazy bar fight. My shirt is torn from the pocket, my lips are chapped and it hurts when I breathe. I am a mess, not the usual mess, but the kind of mess that has gone miles past the benchmark of messness (if that’s a word).

Last night, I was not this person, or so I can recall. I made the party come alive, the moment I walked through Stacy’s doors. I turned every head in the room like I was Tara Reid dressed in a bikini.  Don’t get me wrong, I dress fine and I am a guy. I have a sense of humor and I am open to things. New things, old things, wild things. I am open to ideas, I am open to fun and I am open to life and its wild experiences.

So I obviously gulped wine, beer, scotch, cocktails, mocktails, shots, martinis, jagerbombs, and whatever the fuck I could grab with my loose hands and whatever did not taste like puke….Ohh wait a minute! I think I tasted puke too, my own puke or was it Stacy’s? I can’t tell. Not that my taste buds were dead, I just think I faintly remember all that happened. The events are registered like frames of a film,only distorted. 

I think I was hungry too, to a point where I could eat a possum. You know how weed works! One time I even ate raw Maggie stuffed between brown wheat breads. The worst part was, that I had broken in to my neighbour’s kitchen. Then I had to run away from there and their 5 year old kids threw stones at me, as I showed my back. One would argue, I was "stoned", quite literally.

So anyway, Stacy had named the party “Come Puke in my garden”, and I wish I was kidding about the name. So not so surprisingly, I was the first one to successfully justify the name and probably the last one to walk away or maybe swim through the great river of pukes and valleys of female-high-ankle-boots and men-jordans. 

But today I feel sick, it’s not a hangover. I have had hangovers before, terrible ones at that,  but it’ s something different, something I don’t know how to express, I feel so bad within that I feel I have no soul.  Maybe that’s exaggerated but you get the drift? Don’t you.


I just heard a knock, not on the door, I think it’s inside my head. The mirror I was looking at,  seems to have disappeared. 

I can hear myself breathe. It’s so loud and disturbing, my eardrums ache.

I think I am dragged to the wall, something pokes my ribs, I must be dreaming. 

What is this smell? Did someone piss here? Must have been the purple hair dude from last night.

What is that noise? I hear someone whisper. I just hope there's no tiger in my bathroom.

Did I just touch another skin? That's surprising because, I live alone and don't crash at parties.

It’s still dark and noisy in the other room, maybe the party isn’t over yet. 

I can’t really tell...



Sunday, January 11, 2015

20 Random Words and CrazyNews.com

So in a fun exercise, I was given 20 random words/set-of words, and I had to build up a short news story putting all those words in a context, in five minutes.

The words were:

  1. Realists
  2. Gimmick
  3. Intern
  4. Fantastical
  5. Dice
  6. Anti-incumbent
  7. Parrot
  8. Agenda
  9. Quantum-Physics
  10. Wormhole
  11. Facebook
  12. House-of-cards
  13. Eloquent
  14. Megalomaniac 
  15. Preposterous 
  16. Propaganda 
  17. Phantom
  18. Elephant
  19. Bizarre 
  20. Internet
...and this is what I wrote:

Breaking News:  Internet video of a mysterious elephant goes viral.

In an exciting and the most bizarre news of the day, a giant elephant’s video has gone viral.  An intern and a ghost writer at the CrazyNews.com, released the video on facebook last night, where a phantom sized elephant is seen to play with a parrot and soon after that, he eats it alive.  Since the time the video has gone viral, people have come up with preposterous theories. Some experts are associating the entire video with the US government’s propaganda to divert people’s attention from the upcoming premier of the third season of house-of-cards. While some are associating it with the eloquent and magical unproven theories of quantum physics, such as the wormhole. However, the anti-incumbent megalomaniac realists are discarding the entire episode as an edited video gimmick.

Whatever the reality maybe, It would be interesting to see which way the dice roles from here on, and how many more depressing theories emerge. While it may be a fantastical way for some of the misleading powerful groups to divert the attention from the upcoming election’s agenda, it surely is an evil prank on elephants and parrots.

Sunday, January 4, 2015

My Wicked Twin

My brother and I, are antipodes; like the flip sides of a coin, only joined at the hip like Siamese twins. However, not literally.
We grew up in a small town together, graduated from the same university and now work at the same firm. But let me tell you, he is an absolute charmer, an enticer of beauty, the Wordsmith, and at least five times better looking than me. People (especially girls), like him instantly; he of course has that magnetic personality and knows how to best use it. But he is also an atrocious jerk with an evil mind. I on the other hand, am docile, feeble and unsure. Perhaps someone who needs help. I struggle even at the mundane routine tasks and get ridiculed by him for my mediocrity, almost on a daily basis. He is an asshole, I tell you.
I however keep all his dark secrets. Like this one time, both of us had gone for a trekking trip with our mutual friend. My brother secretly hated him. But I knew it, because he had told me so, he never hides anything from me. Upon a senseless heated argument, he lost his cool and stabbed our friend multiple times in his gut amidst the woods. Later he threw his dead body in the pond nearby. That day, I sat by the stagnant pond aghast, and I saw it for the first time, I saw my brother’s evil face afloat on endless ripples of water, as he probably bent over my shoulders standing behind me. He showed no signs of remorse or guilt, like a comfortable devil, proud of his actions.
To think of it, that wasn’t the only time I loathed him for his monstrous nature. I have often distasted him for his endless rants about how he wants to kill so many people who have wronged him and destroy things, that aren’t his. Sometimes, he even wants to kill me, for he doesn’t trust me at all. I must admit, that it scares me.
I hate the fact that whenever he comes to my room, his back is always glued to the same wall for some reason and he walks away when I am not looking. I hate it, when I walk in to public washrooms and he follows me, as if he feels the urge to empty his bladder at the same time. Private changing rooms have no meanings in my life, as I am always accompanied by him and his utterly disgusting inappropriate winks. Whenever I want to take my own picture, he is somehow always there, shoving his face in the front camera of my phone. He would also never let me drink a glass of water in peace, and invariably stand behind me for no reason. I am not sure what pleasure he gets out of it.
Even now, as I write this down, I can see him lurking behind the dark but shiny metallic rims and edges of this laptop. In fact, I just smiled at him and he smiled back at me; my wicked twin, with his wicked grin.

{Note: This above write-up was posted by me on Sharath Komarraju's blog as an entry to a contest called "what do you see in the mirror?"