Sunday, March 22, 2015

Amnesia and Fear

Exercise:  Everyone suffers from amnesia it is only you who can remember things like a normal human, explain how your world would be? (Time:20 mins, Theme: Fear)

They say 90 percent of the people in this world don’t remember what they did the same day last week, but the world where I live in, people don’t remember what they had this morning, for breakfast.

It’s like, if you asked them why they are in a supermarket in their pajamas licking an icecream-cone at 12 o clock on a Wednesday, the chances are they would look you at you, maybe snigger a bit and then ask the same question to themselves, i.e why are they licking an ice-cream cone at 12 o clock in a supermarket on a Wednesday.

It’s like being perpetually high on that fine Heisenberg blue crystal methamphetamine.I mean,  If you were to pull a prank, steal their money, murder their pets or cheat on their better halves, you would be glad to do so and they would never show even an ounce of retaliation. Not even the most dangerous ones and by that I mean not even the 200 pound fat mother of unwanted kids.

So yes I live in this part of the world where amnesia is an epidemic. It started with nothing at all, well actually it started with one guy hitting the other on the back of his head and then him hitting the next one and so on...but that’s unimportant...the point is, everyone started forgetting things faster than a black guy dying in a horror movie.

So I live amongst people who sometimes, ask ME what their name is or the other times how to write a bank cheque and quite often, WHO to write a cheque to. So there obviously isn't a point for guessing that it is always invariably ME they write the cheque to. And Not just that, their girlfriends are mine and so is their liquor. I get money for stealing money and have sex for having sex. I am never caught for lying, neither am I caught for crimes. I am worshipped, looked-up to and treated here like I a mini-god, the savior. The one that fucks with everyone’s feelings and gets rewarded, only 200 times more.

But quite lately, I have started to feel that I am losing all of it, it was when one of these guys for apparently no reason hit me with a rod while eating an ice-cream cone in a supermarket on a Wednesday.

And I went to a doctor, who by the way doesn’t remember that he is a doctor. So he is like an on and off kind of a physician. He prescribed me some pills. I did not trust him, but then hey! all the doctors in the town aren’t really sure of what they are prescribing you and I never went to a medical school for a reason; I was too busy fucking around.

Anyway, since the time I had that pill, I have started forgetting minute details of my life.  Things, like what’s the password of my email, so I created a log book for all my passwords and guess what ? I forgot the password of that log book. I also forget things like, if I have enough beer bottles stocked up in my fridge to last for the entire weekend or if I have left the stove switched-on in the kitchen.

And  if all of this is not scary then let me tell you, that my birthday is coming, I want to make it memorable, but I am scared whether I will have any memories of it.  I am scared, I that I will soon turn like them, because let’s face it, I will lose all the charm and the money and all my possessions. And then what? What do I do? Sit here, write pages after pages about the kind of world that I live in?

I am scared if I will be able to sustain the way I have been able to for the last 20 years.  It’s the fear that doesn’t let me be who I am.

Ohh By the way,,,,

Did I tell you that,they say 90 percent of the people in this world don’t remember what they did the same day last week, but the world where I live in, people don’t remember what they had this morning for breakfast. Or what they do for a living.

It's like if you asked them why they are in the supermarket in their pajamas licking an ice cream-cone at 12 o clock on a Wednesday, the chances are they would look you at you, maybe snigger a bit and then ask the same questions to themselves, i.e why are they eating and ice-cream cone on at 12 o clock in the noon in a supermarket on a Wednesday.

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