Monday, September 5, 2011

Dropping the baggage, Moving on ...

There comes a time in your life, when you just do not know what went wrong and then you look back and realize, that nothing did ! It was just a bad patch and of course one of those several ways of the almighty to force you to understand that, he can make you fall from a building while you are aiming for the sky. That, you cannot take life and its pleasures for granted, you cannot challenge the odds, you cannot achieve more than your fate and also before your time.

There were circumstances this year, which were not under my control. I couldn't have done anything to stop them from happening and while they were happening, some unimportant people in my life, whom I never met, just because of the simple reason that I never wanted to, wrote me off ! More than being annoyed at them, I was amazed to see how people can stoop to the lowest level of filthiness by rubbing their hands on the opposite side of the game, and sticking their two pennies in the matters that were non of their business, by acting like a high school teenager. Who calls you names, makes fun of your work, style, family, nature, ability, name and most importantly your existence ! I ignored them countless number of times, for so many reasons, for the people those who knew them, and their so called 'dear friends' now, had spitted a lot of venom against them. So I kept my distance and not to forget that, I never got good vibes anyway. But on a certain level, I also tried mingling up and being good at casual online chit chats. But turns out, all that was not enough. Suddenly, I became the bad guy, for the reasons that were either unknown to me or were too irrelevant and silly !

During all this while, the people who I have met or were friendly with, acted like it was all either my fault or grabbed a bucket of popcorn and watched the whole cyber mud-slinging episode.Which I ended from my side after it started getting dirty, coz lets face it, when it gets dirty, only the pig enjoys it ! I can't blame a person for misunderstanding me, if he has never tried to understand me, but I can for sure put all the blames on a person, who understood me for a long period of time and ended up misunderstanding me at the end ! Also I am not a person, who would tell my personal problems to 10 other people, when I already know that, half would just enjoy watching the whole episode, like it were 'The Truman Show' and half I abuse all the time, coz I believe they are bitchy, pretentious and bastards !

But putting all these incidents and experiences behind. I don't wish anything bad for all these people, just coz of the fact that, I think, may be it was all planned this way, may be it was nobody's fault and the whole episode was not transparent enough. May be everyone was right in his or her own way and every thing that they did, was a step towards the best. But having said that, I also know, that all these things can't be undone and If I were to start it all over, I would still do it the same way I did for the first time.I would still choose the same person and the same approach, over and over again.

Let's just say, I haven't forgiven the friends and I haven't forgotten the foes, but I have moved on, without any grudge against anyone. Because the matters like these, sound and seem silly to me now and in fact are. After all, I have FELT death, yes I have in a way ! I have seen the world turning upside down on the drop of a hat, I have seen major awful disappointments, I have been heartbroken, I had my share of lightening striking the same place over and over again ! In short I have seen how unfair and brutal the life can be. So I have become strong enough to bitch-slap the cat-fights with the back of my hand, but I don't think it plays that important role in my life at this juncture. Besides, everyone has graduated to a sense of maturity or at least I can sense so !

With all this, I just have to say that, without any baggage of disgust, guilt, pain or hatred, I am moving on, in fact I am moving mountains and oceans now.......