Friday, July 15, 2011

Are Ewwww a Bihari ?

Warning: This Post might hurt your sentiments, please proceed only if you are capable of handling the worst. And if it does hurt your feelings, the author hereby, with due respect, states that, "He Doesn't Give A Rat's Ass"
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How do you judge a person for the first time when you meet him ? Is it the looks? Is it the way he speaks ?or is it, the way he cares ?

Ummm No, it's the mixture of all that.

Yeah I bet it's a mixture of all that, PLUS the region he belongs to and this particular post is about 'Biharis'. Okay let me see your "ewwww" reaction on that ! Ohh, you didn't have one ? well good ! I still don't care..

Well dude, Biharis are cheap, have a weird accent, are violent and downmarket !

Says who ? YOU ! and if you are the one going "arghhhh, where's he pointing at", then YOU too !

When Russel Peters makes fun of Indians, some of you get so angry that your patriotism starts oozing out of your every tiny hair follicle. But the next moment you see a guy talking in a Bihari accent, you swear like either he put your pants on fire or played table tennis with your testicles. Why ?? did you not hear Russel also cracking that, "Americans, hate Iraqis. Iraqis hate Americans. But Indians hate Indians" Ohh you did, but your reaction was, "he is just being a douche bag with his smile like that, it's rude to call a South Indian,a mufo, just coz he is one, I mean a south Indian"

I don't see where this post is heading ! Well, I guess its heading towards the borders. Not the cliche, but the actual state borders. Why all of a sudden, I am taking a Biharis side, when I am myself from Bengal, No wait, I think I am from Assam, Shit I forgot I am from Delhi. Omg !! I do look like someone from Haryana, hehe kidding, I am from Nepal ! See, you thought I am from so many places,but had no clue that I could be from Bihar. Yes, I am ! and not shameful even a bit about it. Why should I be ? You make fun of us when we utter English words? Bitch, I can kill words and murder alphabets the way you won't even understand ! you make fun of the way we look? I might be gifted 10 times better at the same. You think you a have been brought up nicely? you should have seen the way I have been brought up. You think you are smart? I might be the smartest in the game! Overall I might be way better than you, in every field that you have an illusion of being better than me.

But

Did I make fun of the way you dress up with maroon pants,yellow shirts and a golden neck chain, in case you are a telugu, did I make fun of your lungis and white Tikas Tamilians/Mallus ? Did I make fun of your Turbans Punjabis ?

Did I have a disgusting laugh when you pronounced, 'simply' as 'zimply', Mallus ? 'Biscuit' as 'Biscuitaaan', telugus ? 'Batman' as 'baitman', gujjus?, 'Subway' as 'Shobway', Bengalis? 'Buisness' as 'Binnay', Jatts?

What is wrong in saying "hum ayenge"? when Bengalis can call the samething as"hum ayega", Marathis can call it, "Mai ayega", Hyderabadis can call it,"Main aathu" a Goan can say, "Main aayinga" and well Assamese can mix yup genders and can call it,"Main ayegi". It means the same damn thing, doesn't it ?

Biharis misbehave with girls? Well look at Delhi and the number of rape cases it has and compare the same with Bihar. Biharis are beggars? then you haven't been to Hyderabad yet, any person walking beside you might just ask for some help !! Biharis are gundas ? Not as much as the Mumbai ka Bhai log ! Biharis are cheap? well they don't fight for 25 Paisa like Bengalis and Marwaris. Biharis aren't systematic? yeah then probably you haven't been to Manipur yet. Biharis are loud? Not louder than Punjabis. Biharis are uneducated ? Well don't even get me started on that. Biharis are slow learners? Don't even get me started on that either !

Its not that I am trying to prove hard that Bihar is the best state to live in or Biharis are the best Indian breed of people. I am just stating the fact that all the states have equally good and bad strings attached to them. But picking up on one state and its people, symbolizing all of them as the cheapest breed breathing, is neither right nor sane. How does it feel when Americans call Chinese people Asian and confuse Indians with Pakistanis and treat them both like Pakis ? It doesn't matter if you are from Patna or Pathankot, you all look the same !

Nopz, the word 'Bihari' isn't a slang for me but if you use it like one then, fuck you! and if you are a Bihari, and ashamed of being called one, then fuck you too!

Having said all that, I don't appreciate or take side of anyone from Bihar spreading anarchy,filthiness, hostility or any abnormal and unacceptable form of disgusting act that not only maligns his image along with the state but also of the people who have nothing to do or will never have to do anything with it !

P.S: If you have been offended, keep it to yourself. There was a warning on the top, you should have read it. Idiot !