Friday, November 11, 2011

The Big-Inning !


A thousand stories untold,
worth more than coffers of gold,
unbelievable as it may seem,
it's the reality, not a dream.


I woke up and I slept again,
uncovered myself and felt the rain,
not ugly shall it ever be,
I am the end and the beginning is me !

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

U.K so far..

So it's been a month and a half since I had a nice cooked Indian meal or had a mosquito bite, but the worse thing is, I recently was bitten by a spider. The people who know me, know that spiders are the last thing on the earth, I am a fan of. But it's okay, I shouldn't be complaining, for the stay here in England has been pretty good and exciting in all regards so far. I don't even feel like complaining about the weather, coz people don't even get my jokes ! Recently I wrote on Facebook that, "I am supposed to be living my dream, but considering the weather in England, I am living my wet dream", and someone commented, "soon you will be living your snowie dreams", what the hell does that even mean !

I have been wanting to write a post since long, but I couldn't coz internet has dropped down in the constant priority list that I had for the last 6-7 years or so, socializing offline for that matter has climbed up the chart, in case you are guessing too much ! One of the best things about living in a place like this, is that you get to understand the human behavior more and more with each passing day. And the truth is, all the people in this world can be measured on the same level of emotional scale. It's been such a nice experience to meet people from all parts of the world, and when I say "all", I really mean ALL. China, Korea, Vietnam,Taiwan, Thailand,Pakistan, Bangladesh, Russia, Iran, Iraq, England, Australia, Russia, Ukraine, Turkey, Finland, Norway, Germany, France, Greece, Cyprus, Spain, Ukraine, Poland, Belarus, Denmark, Lithuania, Latvia, Ireland, Nigeria, Morocco, Somalia, Kenya, Tanzania, Ethiopia,Barbados, Ghana, Argentina, Brazil, Guayana, Mexico, and of course USA are the ones that I could recall right now !


Every single person from every single country has at least been 10 times nicer than what my expectations were. Specially all the European people I have met. Obviously sometimes it is kind of difficult to converse because of the language barrier, but they somehow happen to appreciate my sense of humor better than my Indian friends. So that works ! And here is a funny thing, you might think all the Chinese, Japenese or South Asian people look the same, but when you talk to them, you get to know how different they are from each other, but somehow I had a HUGE difficulty distinguishing among NRIs, they all look the same to me ! Which is kinda weird and unbelievable. All the guys have the same face cut and hairstyle, which btw is the famous crew cut and the same dressing sense. All the girls have a long face cut and straight hair and no I am not kidding !

The other thing is the accent, I simply love the various accents. There is so much to learn from the way everyone speaks, it actually tells you how do they speak their own language and also a lot about their nature. Some people tell me, I have an accent too but they are not sure what kind of accent do I have. But if I could copy the accents, I would start copying it from the very famous British one. I like the way, they throw a rhetorical question at you at the end of every sentence they say. For a person like me, who has grown up watching the American movies, serials and talk shows, has to be as fascinated by the British accent as much as the Americans themselves are.
Ohh btw, I have cooked more rajma-chawal in one month here, than I have cooked maggie in my entire life, that's a bit exaggerated but there is absolutely no doubt that it's hilarious to call Rajma as red kidney beans here, no really ! I mean can you imagine yourself eating something that is called Kidney partly :P ?

The post is getting so long that I am starting to hate it and basically this is why I hate blogging. I can't bloody stop when I start, be it anything. But still cutting it here, with a neat pic on the city street taken one rainy morning ..


---------------------------------Random Cut-------------------------------------------------

Monday, September 5, 2011

Dropping the baggage, Moving on ...

There comes a time in your life, when you just do not know what went wrong and then you look back and realize, that nothing did ! It was just a bad patch and of course one of those several ways of the almighty to force you to understand that, he can make you fall from a building while you are aiming for the sky. That, you cannot take life and its pleasures for granted, you cannot challenge the odds, you cannot achieve more than your fate and also before your time.

There were circumstances this year, which were not under my control. I couldn't have done anything to stop them from happening and while they were happening, some unimportant people in my life, whom I never met, just because of the simple reason that I never wanted to, wrote me off ! More than being annoyed at them, I was amazed to see how people can stoop to the lowest level of filthiness by rubbing their hands on the opposite side of the game, and sticking their two pennies in the matters that were non of their business, by acting like a high school teenager. Who calls you names, makes fun of your work, style, family, nature, ability, name and most importantly your existence ! I ignored them countless number of times, for so many reasons, for the people those who knew them, and their so called 'dear friends' now, had spitted a lot of venom against them. So I kept my distance and not to forget that, I never got good vibes anyway. But on a certain level, I also tried mingling up and being good at casual online chit chats. But turns out, all that was not enough. Suddenly, I became the bad guy, for the reasons that were either unknown to me or were too irrelevant and silly !

During all this while, the people who I have met or were friendly with, acted like it was all either my fault or grabbed a bucket of popcorn and watched the whole cyber mud-slinging episode.Which I ended from my side after it started getting dirty, coz lets face it, when it gets dirty, only the pig enjoys it ! I can't blame a person for misunderstanding me, if he has never tried to understand me, but I can for sure put all the blames on a person, who understood me for a long period of time and ended up misunderstanding me at the end ! Also I am not a person, who would tell my personal problems to 10 other people, when I already know that, half would just enjoy watching the whole episode, like it were 'The Truman Show' and half I abuse all the time, coz I believe they are bitchy, pretentious and bastards !

But putting all these incidents and experiences behind. I don't wish anything bad for all these people, just coz of the fact that, I think, may be it was all planned this way, may be it was nobody's fault and the whole episode was not transparent enough. May be everyone was right in his or her own way and every thing that they did, was a step towards the best. But having said that, I also know, that all these things can't be undone and If I were to start it all over, I would still do it the same way I did for the first time.I would still choose the same person and the same approach, over and over again.

Let's just say, I haven't forgiven the friends and I haven't forgotten the foes, but I have moved on, without any grudge against anyone. Because the matters like these, sound and seem silly to me now and in fact are. After all, I have FELT death, yes I have in a way ! I have seen the world turning upside down on the drop of a hat, I have seen major awful disappointments, I have been heartbroken, I had my share of lightening striking the same place over and over again ! In short I have seen how unfair and brutal the life can be. So I have become strong enough to bitch-slap the cat-fights with the back of my hand, but I don't think it plays that important role in my life at this juncture. Besides, everyone has graduated to a sense of maturity or at least I can sense so !

With all this, I just have to say that, without any baggage of disgust, guilt, pain or hatred, I am moving on, in fact I am moving mountains and oceans now.......

Friday, July 15, 2011

Are Ewwww a Bihari ?

Warning: This Post might hurt your sentiments, please proceed only if you are capable of handling the worst. And if it does hurt your feelings, the author hereby, with due respect, states that, "He Doesn't Give A Rat's Ass"
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How do you judge a person for the first time when you meet him ? Is it the looks? Is it the way he speaks ?or is it, the way he cares ?

Ummm No, it's the mixture of all that.

Yeah I bet it's a mixture of all that, PLUS the region he belongs to and this particular post is about 'Biharis'. Okay let me see your "ewwww" reaction on that ! Ohh, you didn't have one ? well good ! I still don't care..

Well dude, Biharis are cheap, have a weird accent, are violent and downmarket !

Says who ? YOU ! and if you are the one going "arghhhh, where's he pointing at", then YOU too !

When Russel Peters makes fun of Indians, some of you get so angry that your patriotism starts oozing out of your every tiny hair follicle. But the next moment you see a guy talking in a Bihari accent, you swear like either he put your pants on fire or played table tennis with your testicles. Why ?? did you not hear Russel also cracking that, "Americans, hate Iraqis. Iraqis hate Americans. But Indians hate Indians" Ohh you did, but your reaction was, "he is just being a douche bag with his smile like that, it's rude to call a South Indian,a mufo, just coz he is one, I mean a south Indian"

I don't see where this post is heading ! Well, I guess its heading towards the borders. Not the cliche, but the actual state borders. Why all of a sudden, I am taking a Biharis side, when I am myself from Bengal, No wait, I think I am from Assam, Shit I forgot I am from Delhi. Omg !! I do look like someone from Haryana, hehe kidding, I am from Nepal ! See, you thought I am from so many places,but had no clue that I could be from Bihar. Yes, I am ! and not shameful even a bit about it. Why should I be ? You make fun of us when we utter English words? Bitch, I can kill words and murder alphabets the way you won't even understand ! you make fun of the way we look? I might be gifted 10 times better at the same. You think you a have been brought up nicely? you should have seen the way I have been brought up. You think you are smart? I might be the smartest in the game! Overall I might be way better than you, in every field that you have an illusion of being better than me.

But

Did I make fun of the way you dress up with maroon pants,yellow shirts and a golden neck chain, in case you are a telugu, did I make fun of your lungis and white Tikas Tamilians/Mallus ? Did I make fun of your Turbans Punjabis ?

Did I have a disgusting laugh when you pronounced, 'simply' as 'zimply', Mallus ? 'Biscuit' as 'Biscuitaaan', telugus ? 'Batman' as 'baitman', gujjus?, 'Subway' as 'Shobway', Bengalis? 'Buisness' as 'Binnay', Jatts?

What is wrong in saying "hum ayenge"? when Bengalis can call the samething as"hum ayega", Marathis can call it, "Mai ayega", Hyderabadis can call it,"Main aathu" a Goan can say, "Main aayinga" and well Assamese can mix yup genders and can call it,"Main ayegi". It means the same damn thing, doesn't it ?

Biharis misbehave with girls? Well look at Delhi and the number of rape cases it has and compare the same with Bihar. Biharis are beggars? then you haven't been to Hyderabad yet, any person walking beside you might just ask for some help !! Biharis are gundas ? Not as much as the Mumbai ka Bhai log ! Biharis are cheap? well they don't fight for 25 Paisa like Bengalis and Marwaris. Biharis aren't systematic? yeah then probably you haven't been to Manipur yet. Biharis are loud? Not louder than Punjabis. Biharis are uneducated ? Well don't even get me started on that. Biharis are slow learners? Don't even get me started on that either !

Its not that I am trying to prove hard that Bihar is the best state to live in or Biharis are the best Indian breed of people. I am just stating the fact that all the states have equally good and bad strings attached to them. But picking up on one state and its people, symbolizing all of them as the cheapest breed breathing, is neither right nor sane. How does it feel when Americans call Chinese people Asian and confuse Indians with Pakistanis and treat them both like Pakis ? It doesn't matter if you are from Patna or Pathankot, you all look the same !

Nopz, the word 'Bihari' isn't a slang for me but if you use it like one then, fuck you! and if you are a Bihari, and ashamed of being called one, then fuck you too!

Having said all that, I don't appreciate or take side of anyone from Bihar spreading anarchy,filthiness, hostility or any abnormal and unacceptable form of disgusting act that not only maligns his image along with the state but also of the people who have nothing to do or will never have to do anything with it !

P.S: If you have been offended, keep it to yourself. There was a warning on the top, you should have read it. Idiot !


Sunday, June 19, 2011

Life as we DON'T see it !

So you think, it's all unfair with you ? Don't you ? and that is because you failed your silly little exam. Coz the computer gave up on you or the pencil lead broke or may be the autowala's tyre got punctured and you couldn't make it on time.

Nope, I don't, I have worse happening in my life!!

Ohh well !! let's see, did you pass at the time of recession and you are still struggling your way to settle down nicely ? but you can't, coz now you have a year gap or two ?

Neh, I had a break up, my gf got married,my family thinks I am a joke, they fired me from the workplace and I now I have the self-confidence, the size of a dust particle !

Hmm okay, well here it is, "I am sorry, I feel bad for you and now there is nothing you can do to fix it".

Yeah, well it's a lot easier when you are at the preaching end, you know ?

I do know !! but hey, here's a thing, you are alive, aren't you ? your fingers, limbs, brain, liver, kidneys,lungs all intact and working fine, isn't it? you are in your 20's and you aren't in a jail neither do you have AIDS ! Your mind is as sharp as it was before and your body as adaptable as you have made it over the years. In short you are alive and capable !

So ?...

So, Feel The Gratitude ! Thank god for all this ! No I mean literally, Look up and say "thank you god, you have been kind to me."

and then what?..

And then I will tell you to mean, what ever you said just now. Because you aren't my 26 years old smartest cousin bro who died in an accident, you aren't the uncle who is being diagonised with the cancer and surely you aren't the guy who was hit with a hammer and lost all the memories.You are just a normal guy and you had a little downfall in your early life and if you can't deal with it right now, then you won't have a story to tell your kids !

Ohh !!

Yes and you get whatever you have thought of all your life, the universe works that way, if you think negative 24x7,you will end up being the trash forever. If you aspire for the horizon, you will at least get the feel of it.

Yeah but I did not attract all these in my life, I mean why would I bang my head on the wall ?

You know, I will have to be a little bit harsh in your face, and say YES you did get whatever you thought of or at least you always thought of what you did not want to get. To cut the long story short, you have become what you always thought about !

So, now what ?

Now, change your habits, be positive, smile no matter what, say no to negative thoughts, attract goodwill, smile no matter what,have the faith, strive for the best, smile no matter what and yeah more thing smile no matter what !!! Yup that's about it !

Ohh !!!



Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Let Bygones Be By Guns !

Hover over my head, run in my mind, days and nights,
cover my thoughts, sign a plight and shine in the fights.

Tell me the tale of the Princess when her beloved was gone,
The cold hearted prince bogarted her feelings with his heart-bone.

Giggle, Wiggle and point out how I ate the sour grapes,
Hide the smear of your tear, behind your pink drapes.

Give me twinge, give me pain or strain, else I will have to fake it,
Give me curses, give me sick verses, else I will have to take it.

Burn the trust, be the first to throw the dust on him- 'the mystic'
churn your lust, let it burst, you don't wanna become the victim of statistics

Massacre the body, with the rose that you gave me, made up of iron
Murder my peace of mind and a piece of mine, with the silence made by a siren

Kill the realms of the dreams, hold your breath and smash it,
Before it dies, take the torch of time, look for the past and flash it.

But,when it will all be about to end and the seconds are left a few,
I will straight look into your eyes and smirk like I was the one for you !

Saturday, March 19, 2011

To, The dasholes !

Alright stop smirking !! It reminds me the smug look of a Toad breakfasting on fat marsh flies. Yes !! you being the toad, coz you look like one. So, when you type bullshit or utter bullshit, all I can read or hear is "Turr Turr".

If you already feel this blog post is targeting you, then read it till the end. I am sure you'll not be disappointed, coz man, I don't know what your problem is, but I am sure even you can't pronounce it. Hence all I can do right now is make you understand that either your sense of humor is obsolete or your sanity is down market. You don't outsmart me or anyone for that matter, matter of fact if you were twice as smart, you would still be shamelessly and arrogantly stupid ! And come out of the illusion of being funny Mr,those unfathomable jokes would even confuse you if you read them after sometime coz the truth is, you did not understand what you actually meant when you cracked them up. Like it goes "if you think you are a miracle comic, then it's a miracle if you are comic."

Gah !! with qualities like these, you are at every damn place. Carrying 'that' cocky face, posing like you are the ultimate womanizer, talking like every line of yours is a punchline, commenting like you are THE man and everyone else is a loser.Basically, on an average you are one narcissist asshole out of every 30 odd people in this world.

The funny thing is, the moment someone praises you, you become the Batman and he becomes the Robin, you the Captain America and he the Bucky and the moment someone crosses you, you become the Superman and he the lex Author, you the Spider-man and he the Green Goblin, you the Batman and he the Joker. Getting the drift ? But forget fictional characters, we are human beings, what are you ? a raccoon ? coz you look like one ! Had it not been for this fake world, the illusion of you being listed among the "who's who" for any shitty category would be questioned by "what's that?"

I see you on FB, on blogsville, on the streets, in office, inside the lift, inside the parking lot, in a mall ,in the lobby, basically every damn place. You have infinite faces and all of them are ugly with a capital 'U'. But here's the truth, we don't take you serious. It's not that we don't like you, it's just that we hate you. Period !!

Give Narcissism, hypocrisy and cynicism some respect, else I have no freaking idea, how will you react if you start feeling the way you look !!


P.S : I hate you !

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Just another post :-)

The last time when I scribbled here was in Aug '10, it's been 5 months and I have never ever been detached from 'Blog Vibes', for this long, ever since it came alive. It's not that I have been so busy in my life, that I couldn't take out even half an hour to put up something gibberish, It's just that I did not feel like blogging. It felt, as if there is no need to write and let the world know what exactly I was going through or was thinking, coz nobody cares that deep, nobody thinks for us as much as we do for ourselves, nobody would be there forever, in fact sometimes I think, even if I had deleted the blog, it wouldn't have mattered to most of the people and it's not surprising at all !

But all these things aside, I am good and as a result have gained a few extra pounds :P
I measured my weight today and it's 75Kgs, phewwww !! My weight was constant between 60-65 since 7-8 years but then this is a good change, I guess :-)

I have also observed life closely in last one year, things that are important and are not taught to us during school days, things which we learn ourselves, things which life teaches us.

Life teaches us, in fact only life teaches us !

Whatever I learned in school or college never came handy whenever I was sad, happy, excited, afraid, curious or frustrated. I either only learned a new way to deal with it or used my previous experience to enjoy or get over any particular feeling. History did not help me, neither did Chemistry. All I am trying to say here is; while growing up, everyone around us including us, are so ignorant about the harsh realities of life, that we just confine by wish or by command to only the interiors of what we can represent on a piece of paper. No one tells us that there would be grown up monsters who would act sweet on our face and back-stab us and eat us alive the moment we start feeling that they are nice. No one tells you that anything but trust is to be trusted if you are in a relationship. No one gives you heads up if YOU getting screwed benefits them even a penny. No one is pure, no one is sane and no one is noble, It's just that some people are close to being one and rest are far from being the same !