Saturday, March 20, 2010


In the last post I just meant that there are people who hate me for nothing and that's probably because they don't like my face or my traits. But trust me, I am happy in fact more than happy.It's just one of those lines (if you remember), which are true and applicable any day...

"Sometimes I hate myself in the mirror,
Sometimes the mirror hates me when I go nearer"

In simple terms, If you plot a graph between "Weekdays and how I hate my looks" the graph would be exponential or if you really want to break it down then put the values and check in y=e^x or for some decent weeks consider, m= 1 and c = 0 Y=mX+C...WOW that wasn't simple, was it ?..

Alright, so after reading all the nice comments..I have to share a poem which I wrote LONG back, it's amateurish and not my type, but co-incidentally on a similar subject..


Sorrow in his face, wrapped in mournful trace,

he is poor and far from any worldly allure.

Luxury shines in his face, a winner in his race,

he is rich and far from any vulnerable itch.

Struggle in his face, he is a backbone and he is a base,

he is from middle class and he belongs to the mass.

Innocence appears in his face, can’t tie his shoelace,

he is a kid and a phase similar to whatever we did.

Stubborn is his face sometimes with a brace,

he is a teenager indulged in a superficial pleasure.

Responsibility in his face tucked in a formal dress,

he is a man and works as hard as he can.

Helplessness signs in his face, ready for death to embrace,

he is old, and his life could have been better than being on hold.

Shyness in her face and the beauty which you can’t replace,

she is a girl & if she were to be a gem, she would have been a pearl.

Toughness in his face and the power you can’t replace,

he is a boy and he is the synonym for joy.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

F*c* OFF !

Since the day I started facing the outside world, I always faced a certain someone who did not like my FACE.

In kindergarten, there was this class monitor who would hate me for no reason. Once I was so happy to have the same colored 'Donald Duck' Instrument box with me, that I actually went up to him and showed it expecting that he will be excited, Kid's psychology you know ! But he gave cold shoulders and if that was not enough the very next period he complained about me that I was talking loudly in the class.

Then in class 5th my English teacher slapped me 10 times for a very silly reason, that I laughed in the class..but I was not alone, at least a bunch of 20 odd kids had laughed. But she picked me up, may be coz back then I was bald headed and I looked ugly of course.

When I came to High School, my games teacher hated me to the core. He would insult me in front of everyone, would kick me out of every alternate class and made sure that no one helps me out. Once I remember I got injured in the playground coz of a defective sea-saw and the injury was so extreme that my toe's nail came out,even though I was wearing formal shoes. Socks were all red and soaked in blood, but I did not cry, till the time the asshole gave a smirk and said "You got a nice lesson, I am happy now".

Then there were those senior guys who never missed a chance to bully me, that prick who stabbed his divider on my palm, the fat-ass who kicked me and pretended that it was a mistake and said sorry,the retard who pushed me all of a sudden and my face got bruised, the mocking meatheads, who made fun of me in 11th when I failed for the first time in Maths. Engineering Professors who intentionally screwed up my grades throwing me in to exceptional bottom cases.My team lead, my boss who can't see me having a better logic than what he has and hence screws up my QA reports. A few far-off relatives who always made sarcastic remarks when I tried something different.

Everything common with these guys are that, somehow they all did not like my FACE and I am not just saying it, I have gone through it. The very first day I meet someone I get to know that he/she simply doesn't like my Face hence my expressions and sometimes it's the way I talk. Some say I carry arrogance, some call it attitude some don't say anything but hate me, as if I kick their balls on a regular basis when they are asleep or as if I have taken out their kidneys and sold it for free.

Whatever the reasons may be, I know I don't come across as a very nice and pleasing person to everyone I meet and I don't think it's even necessary to please everyone. I told this to my friend and she goes like "haan teri shakal he aisi hai" so yeah, be it "ab meri shakal he aisi hai, change nahi kar sakta isse" so if you got a problem with my FACE, then F*C* OFF.

Not Everyone is good looking, not everyone is fair and charming, not all of us are the same. But everyone is beautiful the way he/she is and it's not their fault if we don't like their face, It's actually our fault that we discriminate on face-basis. But contradictory to whatever I just wrote I know a few people personally who have the most slapable faces in the world.

Don't let them say you ain't beautiful, they can all get fucked just stay true to you - EMINEM !

Sunday, March 7, 2010

'D' graded !

"Lectures 1-5 done ! Mugged up the whole chart from 6th, okay from 7th too,8-10 are pretty manageable. So overall first test chapters are finished. Since I did not give the second test I don't have any idea what shit is in there in those lectures from 20 to 30 and well, I am as ignorant about the last 10 lectures as they are about me. "

As I said these words I looked at my watch, it was already 9:00 P.M.

"Shit man have to get the xerox too from the girls hostel before it closes. You know they jot every single thing down, like EVERY single thing !! from the Historical dates to Biological fates" I panicked and the guy next to me adjusted his specs and replied "yeah I know thats how they increase the class average, Bitches !"

"Alright So I will get papers xeroxed and also Get the reference books issued from the Library" as I finished my last line the moron again gave me '....And Yeah I will be waiting on the edge of my seat to welcome you' look, adjusting his spectacles for the 10th time in a minute. Well, he was a typical breed of asshole which you usually find in all the Engg colleges. He criticized everyone in the world for everything they have done, are doing and are planning to do and his criticism always had the hardcore maa-bahen gali back up. In fact, on a given day the guy would have criticized himself for everything he did.

So I got the important last year's question papers xeroxed along with the keys, important paragraphs underlined,important pages and topics tick marked. As I crossed the common hall, I saw guys playing T.T, watching TV loudly, some discussing their last counter strike match's details, a few talking to their girlfriends in the corridor over the phone .

"DAMN the other branches !! Why only Biotech people have to suffer ? We lack unity, Girls increase the average all the time and we guys suffer. Look at these bloody computer science chilled out guys, they bunk 8 out of every 10 lectures on an average, sleep all night before the exam and each of them are as goosey as the other one is, still everyone has a decent CGPA....."

Yes the frustrated guy had started complaining again.

"Okay shut up, we hardly have 12 hours to complete the whole portion, but then have done it before, we can do it again, as of now I am in B grade If I crack two exams well then I will safely remain in B... even after an okayish end-sem." I reminded the guy and he nodded, but with an evil smirk.

We mugged till 3:00 A.M, "Okay I am exhausted will have something and come back, else the night canteen will get closed in sometime, you want something to eat?" I asked him and he took his eyes out of the book and they were red, hair all messed up, spectacles tilted..."No I am fine" came his reply.

"Yeah You do look fine, in fact you look as fine as a gang-raped-prisoner" I thought and gave an evil smirk in return. I did that on purpose but he perhaps did not notice or was too used to it. I had always hated this jerk and so did everyone, in fact my roomie always slept in someone else's room whenever I had an exam and complained about him the very next day.

I came back after having Maggie and coffee, I had coffee or tea only during exams to keep me awake. I still don't have either of them, they give me headache. Pretty strange? yeah I know !

I came to my room and the guy was sleeping on my bed with his legs on my pillow, butt facing the roof, head over a thick book and the horror of all the horrors, he was salivating like how a buffalo ruminates. I checked the book from a distance, and thank god it was his own book! I took out the pillow gently put it out of his reach and started mugging up more..and mugged from 4.00 a.m-8.00 a.m non-stop, did not try to wake that guy up. "If he doesn't score in tomorrow’s exam, then at least there will be someone who won't raise the average." I thought. Now that's what a competitive world does to you, you become selfish !

The guy got up at 9:00 A.M, looked at his watch and took 5 mins of nap more. I said softly and reluctantly , "dude get up, we hardly have 2 hours more" I actually wanted him to sleep till 11.00, but probably he did not hear anything, because after 5 mins he got up screaming and abusing everything and everyone in the world, including himself. "Why did not you wake me up man?" He was sounding as frustrated as Chetan Bhagat's main leads.

"10 times, yes 10 times I tried waking you up, but it seems you were in your deepest slumber" I of course lied. "But don't worry, I have almost covered everything up, Will teach you in the next 2 hours all the important topics and you can score decently" this time I meant whatever I said and the guy looked convinced.

He rushed to his room and came back with his toothbrush in his mouth and went on flipping pages madly, tried to rub the saliva from the book and I pretended not noticing all that. "Okay so look here, this is pretty easy and important they have been asking about Drosophila melanogaster's life cycle since 3 years in every exam and also polypodium's and angiospermic life cycles. They all can together fetch you 20-30 % marks for this exam I bet." I explained all the cycles to him, to make everything easy and I revised along with the guy till 10:45.

"okay 15 minutes left, I will change my dress, you also go and change, and don't forget to keep a pencil to draw the diagrams, last time a guy used a pen and the professor whacked his ass off and yeah you have to sit in room number 4 and I am in 3. so see you after the exam, best of luck." I wished him. The guy said "thanks" and left the room hurriedly without wishing me, as if only he had to appear in the exam.

I looked at the bed, it never looked so tempting. I looked at my watch, I had 10 minutes. "It will take 2 minutes to reach the exam hall and I know where I have to sit, so don't have to waste my time in searching for that hence I can afford to lie down for 5 minutes." I said to myself and went to the bed with 70 % of upper half of my body lying on it.

12:05 P.M, "My great lord, you had not given your second test coz you were not well and guess what? you just missed your third test for no reason at all. Now they can consider to give a make-up exam, for those who were not well during 2nd and 3rd tests separately, but it looks like you can give only one of the two exams. From B grade, I welcome you to D grade. Ohh !! by the way,the question paper comprised 90 % of whatever you taught. Thank You." The guy was happy and satisfied like he had the best sex ever.

"Okay shut the door properly as you walk out, cya in the evening" I said.