Saturday, July 25, 2009

1st year ?

Senior: Hey you, Fresher ?

Junior: Yes Sir.

Senior: Don't you know how to wish your seniors ?
Junior: Hello sir.

Senior: Dude, I am not your friend, give a technical wish and bend or you can salute, and btw where is your dress code and why the hell you did not get your fresher’s cut hair style yet.
Junior: G G..Good morning sir! I don't know the dress code and I don't know what's Fresher’s cut.



Senior: wear formal shirts with collar button closed and third button from the top should be open. Don't dare to fold the sleeves, wear broad Formal pants, wear bathroom chappals and no celphones or watches allowed and fresher’s cut is a kinda military cut, every damn saloon knows about it. Get everything done and come to room number 308 by 9 P.M Sharp. We will have introduction.
Junior : OK sir.

This is a general first day conversation between a junior and a senior in an Engg/medical college. With the new sessions getting started, I recall my good old ragging days. It was fun to get ragged, and it was even more fun to take the revenge. I even ragged my own batch mates. Well some of them used to wish me all the time, thinking that I am their senior, So I obviously took the advantage of that. I learned a lot from my own ragging so, implemented and experimented all the fundas on my juniors (yes, girls too). I was obviously hated by the juniors because of that but I don't have any regrets as I never liked most of my juniors. Maximum of them were stupid, outlandish and arrogant or may be It's every senior's mentality.

"All the Seniors think that their university is going to kids"



Ok now back to the point, Ragging is an art, first of all it's called introduction. We did not violate 1956 act by A.P government under which Ragging is a crime. So under introduction we have several subtle categories and ways of knowing a person. It's important to know If a junior can:

1. Mimic a dog/cat/monkey/pig.
2. Pretend that he is driving a bike and take a whole round of the college with a girl at his back seat and the 'vrooom' sound coming out of their mouth.
3. If he can pass the 50 Paisa coin from his mouth to his friend’s mouth.
4. If he can Kick Warden's Door at 12 in the night.
5. If he can do a snake dance in front of the whole batch or can tell who is the tota/maal in his batch and get free comments/kicks.
6. If he can give his/her introduction in pure Hindi, Yes you should know that Computer Science is called 'Abhikalan Vigyan'.
7. If he can utter at least 10 hard core gaalis (Kaminey, saley,kuttey, harami are nowhere in the league)
8. If he/she can read out loud the barking tables ,e.g, 'voww x 1= voww', 'voww x 2 = voww voww' so on ......
9. If he or she can give answer some tricky questions such as "define SEXY" and the if he answers "Sexy is something you want to have sex with" he is not an engg for sure. The answer is 'SEXY' sounds like 'SEC C' so d/dx Sec C = sec C.tan C.
10. Similarly ‘1/tanX’ is ‘cot X’ and I won't describe how that sounds like.
11. If he can write down his branch's name using his ass as a pen and dragging that on the floor, even short forms workout like Electronics and communication would be ECE or computer science would be CS but bechare Biotechnology wale :(

Rigorous introduction has scores(thappad) involved and to deserve that, you need not do anything, it just comes your way at anytime. Then you should know that senior guys are your technical 'Baaps' and senior girls are your technical 'moms'. 3rd and 4th year guys are super seniors and faculties are *****. There are a lot of technical and biological things one should know about.

If you happen to be someone who has never given/done any rag-duction I Pity you.
If you are one of those who are about to explore the college life (especially engg or medical) best of luck.
If you are a senior, then do it on my behalf ..pleaseee.
If you are a pass out like me then just read this post and comment.

Friday, July 17, 2009

PDAs SUCK !

Of all the turn offs in the world for me, PDAs would win the race of being the 'worst act' all hands down. It's way too overrated and it's a way to embarrass people like me. I hate PDAs like I hate 'SRgay', I hate it like i hate 'karele ki sabji', I hate it, like i hate getting up at 5 A.M. In fact if i have to name a girl child whose parents are PDA lovers, I would name her as HATE WINSLET !


No offense to anyone who loves PDAs, and by that i mean no offense to Nidhi, coz shez the only person I know, who accepts that she loves it and I don't give a tiny Rat's ass (okaieee, so god i hv started to sound like ROSS, Damn again!) to other concerned people reading this post. If you are one such kind, you have all the liberties and statues, rights and wrongs in the world to paint a picture about my character OR you can save your time by typing as "nice blog", "LOL" ,"nice post", "hehe" and similar-other-non-acceptable-disgusting-diabolical- comments, which i ignore, like I ignore vodafone's computerized calls. But the best option for the frowned-up souls would be to write down long anonymous comments, which again i would delete if I find it offensive. Now that's called a win-win situation.

The PDAs I hate the most are these (don't tell me, that i missed alpha,beta, gamma types):


THE FRENCHISTAAN PDAs : It has nothing to do with the French-Fries but it has everything to do with the French Kissing. The hands, while the process is going on, traverse all the way, that I would say, starts from France, passes and presses the frozen gulf of Finland and lands in Andaman and nicobar. It's a normal 'bio' and 'logical' process inside a room but in the open places, It sucks or may be I am a narrow minded guy. But at least I won't bake such kind of cookies , I swear by geeta, seeta or any margarita.



THE DO(N)'T-NET PDAs : These are the online PDAs, in which one party is a PDA-holic and the other party tries not to get affected even if he/she is embarrassed, coz he/she doesn't want to complain. So obviously keeps mum and instead of returning a whole "I love you" package, just makes random smileys or types either of the words in extreme circumstances as "Love XYZ" or "Yours XYZ".
THE DO(UGH)-NET PDAs: Now this one is the worst of all, and occupies all the positions in my list of 'thumbs down' from 1-10. I hate Blog world posts, dedicated to one's lover and surprisingly the name is mentioned and the lover comments back with even a bigger post or a comment. IMFAO, if the two souls are so desperately in love they aren not required to announce it to the world. Some flaunt, some want fame, some are attention seekers and some are just average sort of retards. The trend continues not only in blogging world it is on every damn networking site. I feel sorry for those who take it seriously, and by that i mean a lot of girls and a few guys. Guys doing such activities are perverts, at least 95% of them are. I have no hesitation in uttering the truth.

When I see tag lines like "I am here lonely without you honey" or "Baby my heart broke, fix it" or "I would love you even if stars don't approve" . I just feel like putting my hand in his profile, through the screen of my Samsung Syncmaster and taking his tongue out of his mouth and wrapping it around his neck so tightly that he dies getting choked. I mean why does he have to sound like he is the only Romeo the world has ever seen. When the fact is that he will drop her, like he drops his underwear every morning, if he gets a girl with a better figure.

PDAs Suck Or may be all Gemini guys aren't comfortable with it.



P.S: That's all from my side and I am sure that if you read between the lines, you have a lot to say too.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

That WHITE BAND !

I lost my lucky charm a few days ago, it was a white coloured friendship-band (the one in the picture). Call me superstitious, but it so doesn't feel right nowadays . A feel a void in my life, something is obviously missing.




After losing it, my life has become weird, Ironic, and abusrd, in fact ;

1. It's like, crossing a one-way road by looking at both the sides.

2. It's like, a 'C' Program with '100' errors but '0' warnings.

3. It's like, when you sneeze in the traffic and press the 'accelerator' instead of 'breaks'.

4. It's like, a guy excited by 'Article 377' sharing a bed with Angelina Jolie.

5. It's like, playing a CD in a Tape Recorder.

6. It's like, when your Celphone rings loudly & you are faking a talk.

7. It's like, a Twitter application on Facebook but accesible by Orkut.

8. It's like, Eminem Singing Gulshan Kumar's Bhajan.

9. It's like, when you try to spit from the window of a running Car and you spit it on your own face.

10. It's like, holding a pen upside down and trying hard to write.

11. It's like, Stepping on a Dog's Shit before meeting your date.

12. It's like, a guy giving a girl's proxy and vice versa.

13. It's like, 100 comments on your 1st post and 0 comments on 100th.

14. It's like, getting a deja vu that you had a deja vu.

15. It's like, Waking up yesterday and sleeping tommorow.

16. It's like, Joey saying, "kaisaaaa challllll raha hai" ? instead of "how you duuuoin?".

17. It's like, Watching Spiderman-3 in Bhojpuri.

18. It's like, 'a-Shit-4-Tat' turning in to a seedha-sadha, puja-paath karney wala blog.

19. It's like, Me exgaggerating my post over a lost white band.

20. It's like, you reading the whole post sincerely and trying to figure out the logic and now making faces.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Celebrating 365 days at your nearest blog !

someone said..

"We all have our time machines, the ones that take us in the past are called memories and the ones that take us to the future
are called dreams."

I am goin down the memory lane and I see one such year of goods AND bads, goods OF bads and awesomeness. Yes exactly one year ago I started blogging, made friends, commented on blogs, LOL'ed, read like a dog, felt happy, felt numb, got ideas, got compliments,got awards, had controversies, had arguements......phewwwww !


It's a journey and it's better than the destination,I can't sum it up in words. Without any hesitation, I have an urge to shout that,

"BLOGGING IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS HAPPENED TO ME IN THE RECENT TIMES."
&
"BLOGGERS ARE THE BEST SPECIES FOUND ON
THE e-WORLD"

1 year, 57 posts, 2 blogs, 42 followers, 21 awards, may not seem that great to so many giant bloggers out there, but it surely means a LOT to me. I post once in a week on an average, but I have seen blogoholics post twice, sometimes thrice a day. So the statistics doesn't sound clumsy in this regard.

I wish I could write down, every single blogger's every single contribution that meant a lot to me, but I guess I will have to devote another year, for just preparing the list. So I think may be I should just mention my 'I CAN'T' list and the reasons for the same.

I CAN'T just wait to see the updates of: Abhinav (fun factor), Mads (X-factor), Nidzi (routine factor), Harshita (truth factor), Neha (creativity factor).

I CAN'T just wait to see the comments of: Amrita a.k.a i'll try to be truthful (genuiness), Harshita (huge honest remarks), Mads (expressions through smileys), Abhinav (truthful-one-liners), Nidzi (typos and that makes us alike), Chitwan (free gyaan), Vinnie (unique), Neha (Brat-ish and straight).

There are a lot of people I have not mentioned, just beacuse of the reason that the descriptions were on the verge of getting repeated.They are equally important,without their comments and blogs I wouldn't have been able to survive for a whole one year.

Bhawana,Ams,Pallav,Chriz,HP,Prachi,Trinaa,Crystal,Prianca,Mehreen,Kajal,Akansha,Sarath,
Farah,PJ,Rakesh Avin, Dr.Acula(I dunno her name),ankita,Sugar-cube,Thoorika,Divkiran,Sawan,Pooja,Vinayak,shruti,Ishani,Anurag,Amith,urv,kochu,shaunak,
mahesh,anand,mehreen,mayuri,stephan,the trooper,Vemuri,abhishek,aqua girl,Mayz,bhanuja.....
The list is endless.

Thanks to everyone, who commented on this blog for even once.

P.S: To make this one year old kid happy, bring the gifts along :)