Saturday, August 22, 2009

DAMN-Burger !

Shit, that meal was bad, I should have eaten something else, I mean anything that looked and tasted better than a khichdi prototype.My canteen has burgers and hot dogs, I should try that out tomorrow.Wait a minute I am hungry today, why should I wait till tomorrow. I will have something now,nice & sumptuous.

But what? Junk food ?

Ah ! I have vomited a few times after having it. I don't want to experience it again, I still have the last time's horrible experience imprinted in my neurons. But who cares? let's have a burger. He thought as he walked all sweaty and hungry plugged and lost in the numbers of his own world.

owww here comes the famous bakery, Let's agog the rascal, Appetite! he triumphed. "Gimme one Burger and a coke", he ordered."Sure sir, wait for 5 minutes", bakery guy replied. Ok, I will check out the crowd in between, he thought. He looked around & saw all families, tiny - twinies, a few wannabes and one good looking girl alone, texting on her celphone. Kewl, I should sit next to her table, he smirked.

"Here is your burger, and your coke sir" waiter said intervening his covert inspection."Thank you" came as the reply.



OMG ! what is this ? do i resemble an extinct giant mammoth? Look at the size of the burger. He was apprehensive by now. The girl after gazing for more than 5 mins at her celphone looked up, as waiter came up with her hot dog and coke. She thanked the waiter and looked at the guy. He also looked at her but then came back to 'staring at the burger routine' which he had acquired about a minute ago. Took a sip of coke and looked at her, she looked at me again, he thought. Once, twice, thrice, four times....10 times. Man she is staring at me ! What is her problem? I am not game with it, let it backfire on her,after all she started it, letz stare back. He gazed at her for 3 seconds, she probably realized the intentions and went back to her hot-dog basics. The poker face was minding her business till the time, He did not start eating his elephant size burger.

He took the biggest bite ever, such that his jaws got in to the cranky zone. Damn! it's hot, and now the cheese is coming out, ohh crap ! I got a lil of the sauce on my nose, I look like a clown, wherez the paper tissue? Bastards haven't given any ! Lemme get some , I am sure i will be requiring a dozen of them. He calculated and rushed to the counter to get the paper tissues, hiding his nose. As soon as he came back to his table the girl was laughing. Wow, god couldn't have fixed any incident worse than this to showcase that she is not a pokerface, he sulked. I will get my chance too, let her eat,I am all ready, he waited her to mess up her junk. She gradually unwrapped the hot dog and took a small bite, without making any mistake.

"Ohh snap ! hot-dog obviously has a smaller diameter than the burger, she cannot make any mistake unless she is an alien or someone from somalia.
SMART BITCH." He judged.

He was volatile by now, kept sipping his coke to fill the silence. It had never happened before. I hate anyone watching me when I eat, specially girls. Why did i take a table opposite to her? why the heck they don't make human size burgers? What she would be thinking by now? Ohh crap Still half of the burger is left and it resembles, India's map with so many union territory states lying far from the major states on the either sides. This moment has seized I should go else I will faint or she should go else she will faint coz the way I am eating. Several thoughts ran in his mind. Just to kill the time he plugged himself back to the ipod. ewww ! Kambhqt Ishq songs. Changed the numbers quickly.

He was all set for the second bite and took it, this time it was less disastrous. only a little portion of his cheek was painted this time. The girl, gave him, "It happens" kind of look and he shrugged.

He finished this disastrous damburger and gave, "I suck" kind of weird smile to the girl, and the girl gave him, "I guess you do" kind of smile back, or at least he thought so.

52 comments:

  1. http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/fail-owned-mouth-round-fail.jpg?w=500&h=514 wud have just added to this interesting little incident..

    well.. boys don't think that much normally but sometimes.. hehe.. these conditions do arise!

    smart!

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  2. u know what ashwin... this is the 1st thing that crosses one's mind whenever one orders burgers n likewise stuff...that whether we'll be able to handle the damn huge thing(4get d delicious part). No one wants 2 be left red-faced after facing a downright embarassing situation of cheese or mayonnaise dripping out of d burgers n coating ur chin...
    u'll never hv another burger in public .. howsoever tempted u r to eat one!!

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  3. happens with everyone i guez! :P nice write up bro.

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  4. lol...

    cant stop laughing...truly burgers these days r ultra-huge!!

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  5. haha damburger ha :)

    so nxt time try vadas plus chutney..it rockzzzzzzzzzzz

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  6. Humbug.
    =)
    Try brown bread and cheese spread..!
    Nicely written. :)

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  7. thats y i eat at home...vaise that was u only na ?

    back after longggg time...hope u remember me!!

    Ganpati Bappa Morya 2 u n Mads :)

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  8. haha :-D
    This happens...
    did this incident happened with u ??

    Nice and descriptive :-)

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  9. Even I hate it if anyone is watching me while I am eating!!!! Hunger flies away if anything like that happens!

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  10. I hate Burgers... Hot dogs... or watever they are called... and this post encourages me to continue the hatred spree... LOL!!

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  11. After reading this I think I won't be able to eat burger for sometime atleast though I am not much into it but this was quite well expressed one and i visualized the story while reading :P

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  12. I know how that feels...haha..
    I get so conscious wen someone watches me eat...and especially when it's a guy!..hehe..

    When I started reading this post...I was like 'Oh no! this is too lengthy to read'...but when I read it....I loved it.It was worth the read:)

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  13. hahaha... that is why i never like to have burger in any restaurant or any public places....
    hehehe...

    it is better to have at home....hehehe

    Great
    Good Post.. u knw kabhi kabhae woh kapdon or tables pe bhi gur jata hai ..
    which is the worst part....

    Pallav

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  14. Happens with girls too.. Burgers are such :-)

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  15. No comments on burger.

    I only wish to appreciate your imaginatively cool writing skills !

    Liked the topic & the write up!

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  16. 2 months in a hostel and m sure i've become allergic to food... uff!

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  17. Yeah right this type of Junk is also bad for our health.And people are addicted to this this days.

    Web hosting india

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  18. Hehe nice title and well, happens with everyone i guess... a friend of mine(u know her...who else :P) always told me, "never ever go on a date to subway or mcdonalds because its a turn off when u eat messily or the guy ur seeing eats so messily =P "

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  19. Pata nahi log junk food kaise kha lete hain, especially when they are hungry?

    I only subject my stomach (nd mouth) to these tortures when i feel like punishing myself....

    burgers/hot dog/vada pav/kulcha..bla bla bla...they all make me feeling stupid and guilty for eating them...

    moreover, one can never look very smart whiloe eating junk!
    HOTA HAI. :)

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  20. Hmmm.. Just one bad day dude.. dont sweat

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  21. i shudnt say this ..but i will :P
    i never eat alone..my clothes and table always accompany me while eating..
    hehe
    kuch nai hota re..they must be very fokat, dekh ke time pas kar rahe honge

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  22. If only he could cook!
    What if the next time he goes out to the market for a quick snack and is offered giant gol gappas? What shall he do then?? Thinking of that gives me goosebumps!! Phew!

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  23. well u kno.. most probably south indian style of eating food made you so much drab abt this junk foods..Hp u will be fine soon!!!

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  24. I knw where this came from :P m i right???

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  25. i was just goin thru d post once again... n now i found something which i didn't find earlier.. n i should tel u this as u have to know where u hv gone wrong..

    Though the post is pretty good.. n made us imagine the situation in front of our eyes..
    u were oscillating from the 3rd person to the 1st person n then again back to the 3rd person .. as in from 'he' to 'i' n then 'he' which leaves the readers a bit confused as in they are not able to relate who exactly the central character is.
    Slightly confusing as you started in third person and then moved on to 1st person very quickly..this transition gives a jerk to d readers..

    I realised this coz even I used to do the same in my earlier posts till someone(& a very erudite guy) pointed out this mistake..n that's when he told me abt the dual personality thingie which i mentioned in one of my posts..
    Don't know hw much this is true but this transition creates a problem n makes ppl think dat it was written in a confused state of mind!!!

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  26. @ abhinav

    In fact a lot of times man !

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  27. @ shruti

    yeah i knw ..at least i am one among such guys :P

    and the 1st person and 3rd person thing which u said ..seems true ..I will make sure .that .from the next time i dun do that, whenever i am narrating a scene or a story !

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  28. @ vinnie

    what makes u think that it was me :O

    yeah welcome back :) but ur blog still doesn't have any kind of access :(

    yeah ganpati bappa moriya :)

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  29. @ ankita

    what makes u think like that ..huh :-s ?

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  30. @ thoorika

    then u are no exception :)

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  31. @ Harshita

    haaan haan apkey liye koi sa punjabi burger invent karunga main :P

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  32. @ PJ

    thnks :) i know a few girls like u :P

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  33. @ pallav

    arey bahut se jagah pe girta hai bhai ..bahut mushkil hoti hai :(

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  34. @insignia

    yeah yeah wid unlucky onez :P

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  35. @ sugar cube

    thnks :)
    why u dun like burgers ?

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  36. @ Mads

    yeah point noted ..tell her thank u for the advice from my side :P

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  37. @ Prianca

    arey yaar aadmi ko bhookh lagti hai toh ..dusrey aadmi ka bheja kha lete hain burger kya cheez (as in thing, not cheese) hai ? :P

    sabkey saath hota jarur hai par jiskey saath bhi hota hai ..usse bahut bura lagta hai :P

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  38. @ Scattered thought

    arey why do u think that it was me :P ?

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  39. @ the misdirected arrow

    yeah poor guy will mess golgapas too, he is pretty sure ....rather i am sure that he is :P

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  40. @ frontier

    Was it about me :-s ?

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  41. @ nidzi

    I dunno what are u talking about :P

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  42. ooh that was a plan well planned but wrong footed!!!!
    happens... too bad u cudnt really enjoy the burger. forget abt the girl!

    great fun to read!! :)

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  43. nice read. I would love to follow you on twitter. By the way, did you guys know that some chinese hacker had busted twitter yesterday again.

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