Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Despos !

No this Post has nothing to do with 'Shiney The BAI-SEXUAL Ahuja', It's all about the despos with slurping moves and drooling eyes breathing around us. It includes females too,yes I believe in equality. I have seen girls complaining, that how they get pissed off even when a guy as Docile as 'Virendra Shewag' (who only listens to his mother), said "Hii" to them. However they don't mind a Desi wannabe Ricky Martin Singing "I am the desperado, underneath your window" for them. Some real Despos belong to these following categories.



THE TECHIES: Those who use these social networking sites, as their sex pistols errrrrr weapons to verbally and mildly seduce the opposite genders, even when their bases indicate 180 Degrees alignment and several KMs of distinction,if a print out of the google map is taken and analysed. If I have to stake my money I would stake it on India winning EPL or Tushar Kapoor getting an Oscar award but I won't stake it on their rendezvous. But still they don't mind sticking their two Pennies everywhere. 'Love ya', 'Miss ya', 'Fuck ya', 'Suck ya' are the common mushy phrases ranging from mean to extremes (both the extremes I mean), and I have my aversion for the words 'Shona' and 'Baby'. Babies are not allowed on these sites and Babies don't know how to type, *Period*. I also hate the the excess 'hugg'ing and 'aww'ing factors.

The dudes and dudettes, Put the half naked pics of all the models killing the costume-suspense, and the quotes which they copy from some random sites, sometimes from our blogs, are the examples of some wannabe sex-o-holics, who may not even controll themselves while loosing their "I LOVE YOU-GINITY".

THE DESPERATE VAGABOUNDS: They are always in search of 'True-sex', and their 'soul sex-partners', from Malls to local buses and trains, and sometimes in those Red,blue,green light areas. Majority of 'Oblique people' those who don't satisfy Y=mX+C can be seen on these places. Alright, before you break your head or my head for the above line, Let me tell you that Abhinav Bhatt says "that anything that is not straight is oblique", and I know a little Co-odrinate geometry, and Y=mX+C is the equation of a straight line,where m is the slope,Y and X are variables, and C is a constant....Chiiiii chiii ...Joke ka essence chala jata hai explain karney se :(

THE MICHAEL JACKSONS : Nahi nahi, 'Micahel Jack' ka beta nahi, I am talking about the living prototype of the Human race evolution. They have the real interests for the babies, even 30 to 40 year old uncles with Don shades, and funky colored costumes, as if will they will really shake their ass like a belly dancer if they are asked to, go literally on their knees with or without their pants. They are not He-mans they are rather hymens, they just break and 'blood'y consequences follow up.

THE STRAIGHT FORWARDS: They get the guts to approach and assault the opposite genders, as if they are the real Stifflers inspired by American Pie series. These dudes and dudettes have an accent that works from Barahampur to Barbados and Korba to California. Sportsmen worship Shane Warn and other tatto lovers worship Tommy Lee. Girls having their hair coloured like a jinx of html color codes and guys having it spiked up from north pole to south pole, are the abundant types.


P.S : No offense to anyone who got a feeling that OMG ! I belong to so and so category, while reading this post :P

43 comments:

  1. I liked the introduction part a lot....
    Nice n different post. Liked the way you distinguished between each type :D
    I did not understand the equation...although i was good at maths :(

    the desp. vagabounds are the most popular one....also to be found in courts >:P
    felt that the last category could have been described in a better way.
    nonetheless. an awesomely cool post :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. I m glad u believe in gender equality and found the heart to include the girls in your "well researched" categories. :P

    Aah yes the techies...seen quite a few of em..tsk tsk..what can i say..some people just never learn. Applies to categories 2,3 & 4 too.

    R u always this forthright??!! nice be petrelli..:)

    but temme whats wrong in admiring warne??!! i m his biggest fan u know!!

    chal gn

    cheers
    amith

    ReplyDelete
  3. oi y=mx+c was cool , explain kyu kiya re?

    and seriously i HATE 'baby' , 'love ya'....... YUCK *with a big retching sound*.

    and jacko is whacko -sab jante hai and his prototypes too :x

    what is shiney's fav mode of greeting?

    -good bai :l

    ReplyDelete
  4. Pehli baar main teri kisi category mein fit nahi huyee... finally... ;)

    Abhinav ke fundey bhi set hain... especially yeh oblique waala...hehehe... aur tuney toh joke ki band hi bajaa di explain karney mein... :( :(

    Yeah! Paedophiles are maniacs... I have come across a couple of them... Saaley! @#$#@@$


    Hmm Straight forwards... aaaammmmmmm.... Yeah... ab yaad aaya... ek aisa bhi dekha hain mainey...LOL

    :) Usual se ek dum hatt ke post... bilkul Peter ke essence mein doobi huyee... wah wah... main shayar toh nahi... magar aey peter hassin...jabsey dekha mainey tujhko mujhko shayari aa gayi... ROFL... ab main first category mein aa gayi... ab tak main kaafi odd feel kar rahi thi... hehehehe

    ReplyDelete
  5. baby..shonu
    awww

    oops yeh nai likhna tha..dnt mind
    tere liye nai hai
    :P

    bohottttt hi sahii shandaaarr to the point likha hai bhiya
    mann gaye

    ReplyDelete
  6. hey...wow....
    hahaha...
    what a post !!
    listen u missed those who only imagine, but helpless n they dnt have courage for anythng
    :D

    Pallav

    ReplyDelete
  7. geez...u missed a lot of categories..I think the Straight Forwads can be sub-categorized further into several types :P

    But Lol'able post this....I liked the M.J part of it ..lol

    "They are not He-mans they are rather hymens"
    Rofl

    ReplyDelete
  8. Happy to know that I dont fit in any category!! Aur sahi hai..

    Joke ka essence chala jata hai explain karney se

    Waise mujhe ab bhi samaj nahi aaya .. par wo alag baat hain... !

    ReplyDelete
  9. hahaha.. add more categories.. i wanna be in one category...

    the aaaaaaaaaaw" group is here...

    LMLO stuff

    ReplyDelete
  10. oye..u seem to have done a whole load of research work after ur exams...good boy!

    funny read..i got that 'straight' joke before ur 'spoil-it-all' expln :)

    n yes, did i say that Bai-sexual is damn too cool ..u should patent it :P

    ReplyDelete
  11. Lol...!! Loved your post..!!
    Looks like you've got a lot of time in your hand...! :P
    Loved the "BAI-SEXUAL" tag...!

    ReplyDelete
  12. The Bai-sexual tag came on Tickr (Mtv yesterday) :P..btw..I always love categorization, and except for the "awws and hugs" I haven't come across a despo..:-S..
    Sabse common TECHIES!

    Like it ! =D

    ReplyDelete
  13. lol @ bai sexual
    lol @ red blue green light areas!
    lol @ hair colored like a jinx of html codes!

    funny post ! :P

    ReplyDelete
  14. mast is the word yar...
    so true...abt techies..SO TRUE SO TRUE..hahah :P
    the desperate vagabounds are so much abundant...khekhe:D

    although u specified pehle,anyways in which category cn u put shiney ahuja btw?

    ReplyDelete
  15. ha ha ha... great research work you have done.. Well presented data ;)
    Nicely written... worth a read :D

    ReplyDelete
  16. hahahha some how was this post very apt to the present situation...not the shiney one again..but in general...
    perverts are all around des days...

    but truey saying i like people who are open about what they want than using a mask to cover their true identity

    ReplyDelete
  17. Peter

    I stumbled on your blog manytimes, but never dared to read/comment on your post.

    This post despos seemed to be a very refreshing post to start off on your blog. so atlast i did it.

    Kudos to you for your so much of analysis..

    Especially Y=mX+c wala joke..haha..

    Yes a joke loses its essence right way.

    The techie's part was too good and too much of reality can be seen in it.

    Good to see that you do believe in gender equuality.

    Keep writing.

    See you around..

    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  18. Peter

    Please do check the comments i left at recent posts of yours..


    See you around..


    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  19. Such detailed research??? But still don't u think u missed some categories ;)

    ReplyDelete
  20. @ MADS

    Equation of straight line and all u have to study in class 11th in CBSE board, at least when i was in skool it was like that ..so it's ok ..u din hav maths in 11th and 12th naa ?

    Desperate vagabounds are chepos >:P

    ReplyDelete
  21. @ A.W.S.M

    Techhies are everywhere ..from small towns to metros ..however last category people u wud see in colleges and pubs and all those happening places :P

    Yes i am alwys this ryt :)
    there is no problem in liking warne i just said that these guys they worship Warne and that doesn't mean everyone who likes Warne are like them ..okay ?

    ReplyDelete
  22. @ I'll try to be

    isliye explain kiya coz kuch logon ko uskey baad bhi samjh nahi aya ..jaise apni MADS :P

    you are right about Shiney BAI-god :P

    ReplyDelete
  23. @ Harshita

    Arey Joke ka murder karna kabhi kabhi jaruri ho jata hai :P
    it's gud that u dun fit in any category ...acchi baat hai yeh toh :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. @ Joiedivivre

    haan haan malum hai
    thnks :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. @ Pallav

    yeah yeah i know but the category you are talking about turns in to techies ..hai naa ?

    ReplyDelete
  26. @ Anurag

    yeah that way i can divide every category in to sub -categories and then them in to sub-sub-categories further :P

    Thnks :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. @ Thoorika

    hehe arts student ?

    ReplyDelete
  28. @ Chriz

    really ?
    and i thought you already are =)) LOL
    thnks :P

    ReplyDelete
  29. @ vinnie

    haan i will patent it but see people are already saying that MTV cracked it :(
    i wont explain jokes next time se :P

    ReplyDelete
  30. @ Pavitra

    thnks :)
    thnks :)
    and thnks:)

    ReplyDelete
  31. @ crystal

    ohh :O
    they stole it from my blog X-(
    damn !
    good for you if u havent come across such people :)

    ReplyDelete
  32. @ Chitwan

    Thanks :)
    i wud put him in a cheap category :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. @ Deepika

    thnks :)
    keep coming!

    ReplyDelete
  34. @ Mahesh

    thnks keep coming :)
    yeah not much ova reasearch just some ideas in to words :)

    I read and commented on ur other commments :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. @ Sarath

    yeah :D
    u think so ?

    ReplyDelete
  36. I thnk there r a lot of despos here in blogsville too!!

    ReplyDelete
  37. @ Priya

    aren't they techies ?

    ReplyDelete
  38. hehehe... dhaanssoooo!
    waise yeh toh S4T types post tha.. :) koi nahi... we Indians are independent to write anything anywhere! We all are despos sometimes..! :P

    Abhinav Bhatt
    (haan haan main hi hoon woh!)

    ReplyDelete
  39. @ Abhinav

    SFT bhi toh mera he hai :D
    Yes we sure are :)

    ReplyDelete
  40. Lol...don't worry..I'm not depriving you off your invention skills =P

    ReplyDelete