Saturday, November 29, 2008

FIASCO TRAUMA ??

Couldn't have been worse ??
I asked myself, dumbstruck, analyzing it !!
Where did I go wrong ?? Is it fake ?? or am I through a nightmare??

Several queries put ablaze, hustling for their ways to respective satisfactory ends. But it is a brutal fact that reality is never washed off by simply gazing, neither it gets improved by enormously inspecting.

I was perplexing even under an Air conditioner and did not utter a word as if someone gag me or as if i Saw a ghost all of a sudden. But i would have definitely chosen to scream in the later case because some how i find ghosts very interesting and would love to become a ghost hunter even if that causes me to wet my pants while hunting.But what i saw was miserable and vulnerable at the same time. I still regret for that one major failure and its after effects.Today it is more than five years ..but the trauma still prevails, it ruined my confidence, It was a catastrophic fiasco and i am still ways behind overcoming it.As they say history repeats itself, so it did !!
But i was a veteran by now and was innocuous,so could easily concede myself to envisage with the people around.

It still happens now and then, it's a signal failure, a fiasco, I always guess the lower limit and BINGO!! The barb hits the lower limit without diverting even a single inch.

But i have learned, I have learned to fail. I am just another guy who enjoys the victories equally like he regrets the failures.

P.S: I just now saw what i had written in my diary long back so i wrote it here because i was running short of ideas for the posts. I don't want to reveal what this failure was all about..you better get it and show some sympathy or read the write up with apathy :D

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

ŃŐŚŤÁĹĞĨÁ ------ α ƒєєℓιηg ωιтнιη !!!!

I have been nostalgic before in my life too, but this weekend i wrapped up a little of what i have felt during all my life, after being excessively and abruptly nostalgic again for probably no reason.

NOSTALGIA

Deep-rooted somewhere in veins,

Vexing, Shaking, ruining, a complete clandestine torture.

Abysmal, tendentious heart ache,

Soothing like a zephyr & yet painful like a raw burn.

Conundrum of tears and fears,

Insinuating, corroding, tickling, cherished times.



Onymous & salient expressions,

Vulnerable & lackluster scars from the past.

Dreamy, flamboyant whispers,

And the repercussions of quandary mesmerizing acts.

I abhor it, sulk myself,

Occluded mind, occluded soul, occluded in the memories.


P.S: The meaning hidden in the poem might sound a little ambiguous but please think this way that for the very 1st time i have written a poem that has no rhyming but just feelings entrapped, I hope i did not fail, and hope you people like it.

Monday, November 10, 2008

The DEAF LISTENERS !!

This post is dedicated to all those people who are synonymic to our college's administration and who would pretend to be unaware of seeing and listening even if a student dies right in front of them.

The DEAF LISTENERS

Concuss them, agitate them, deaf they are,

Kick them, whack them, make it a war.

Stalwart you are not, by your damn deed,

ruinous sanguinary we are, if you don’t heed.

Reluctance has a reason, vanity has an excuse,

high time it is, warning, threatening are of no use.

Cruelty above par, your laugh has a grimy attire,

Rebellious we are, and so is the purpose of my satire.

Don’t wait, don’t expect, my inner self whispers,

smash them, thrash them, they are bloody deaf listeners.

Prominent are the reasons, appreciable is the audacity,

come out of prisons, follow your voracity.

Can’t you see the deadline, the life is a race,

don’t be gregarious get out of the mess.

Plenty of hurdles, ridiculous is the pattern,

paths are gloomy and he is just another cheap satan.

Expand your vivacious thoughts, explore your vulpinism,

sort out the irony, look at the romanticism.

Search the ways out, unleash your mind for random whiskers,

outsmart them, rule the silly deaf listeners.


Tuesday, November 4, 2008

The POST, you don't want to read :X

Sometimes you run of your mind and sometimes your mind runs out of you, but today was/is a day when both the things ran out of each other.

I did not plan to write this post but out of frustration,anger,failure,wrath and what not, I am writing it down.The reasons that make me hyper and puke my acme of words that are from nowhere parliamentary, might sound tiny and arbitrary to you, but the fact remains that they pissed ME off. I don't care if you feel I am sounding offensive, I don't care if you don't find my posts rational and my reasons thwarting. The bottom line remains that this is my blog and i can even pee here if I want to, without caring a damn.So if you don't feel like reading this piece of shit, then please close the fu*king window and read the posts that might teach you to avow your crushes on blogosphere or the other poetic and pathetic ones.

To start with the brain pissing circumstances I have been through, what mothercrap is up with the updates of my blog? why does it still show the older posts when it has been almost a week since I wrote a new one?? Does it not like me like my high school maths teacher or do I rape it with the dozens of gadgets I stimulate it with?

Why I couldn't score a single point even after rejoining the map like four times in counter strike and when loosing sucks me more than what a 100 of mozies can simultaneously do.

Why the hell on earth do I get Gay invitations on Orkut and why the hell juniors show me their silly and lame attitude that I feel like taking out my chappals and beating them right across their both cheeks.

Why did I get a mid sem B grade when I had done as good or as bad as what other guys did, and when my expected score was a 2nd highest before the last presentation took place which I did not mess up.

Why did my internship head complain about us when he himself is the last person on the earth who is bothered about what we learn and forget, and why this guy who got an A grade called me up to deliver such an exciting news that shakes all 206 bones inside me and that makes me block all gtalk users that annoy me right now.

Why the college's students activity council hasn't released the Pictures and videos of the recent fest we had and which is supposed to be the last fest of my college life or should I simply say my life?

Why there are people so mean and sick breathing near me irrespective of whatever zone I choose to go.

why this anger thing is in my genes & over which I have the least control in the world, I can't spare a 5 year kid to a 50 yr old man/woman if he/she crosses the limits of pissing me off.

Why the hell am I not able to jott so many things down that kept annoying me through out the day and I find it too much offensive, even more than peeing on a public space like blogosphere and I contradict what I said in the beginning ...cause all of a sudden I realize that 'I' was not the actual 'me' during all this above monologues I delivered.It was just a -ve half of what actually I am.


P.S : As I had promised in the last post that I would give away the award for the best speech, so Here are the nominees .....Harshita,Phoenix,Mads,Sweta,Trinna and Bhawana. I wonder why guys are ashamed of writing a speech that makes me red again...anyways all of you were nice but the best speech was from Bhawana ..and no I am not going by the length, the main reason is that she did not butter me plus wrote nice lines in the end and if that is not enough ...then let me remind you what I said in the beginning "IT IS MY BLOG." and that goes equally well with my awards.Name it monopoly I don't care !!