Sunday, August 31, 2008

pïċhlëÿ säät dïnö mëïn.............

DISCLAMER: Header seems to be COPIED by a ‘ROCK ON’ track but the content of the post is original.

Very first of these seven days, I as usual got up in the morning making my mind against bunking my internship program possibilities, which took a little longer time than usual so I reached the place tremendously late (12:00 to be precise) but I had no regrets coz hardly anyone other than my college faculty who visits once in a fortnight cares. I thought I will manage.

HELL!!

As the lift Door opened I saw the Faculty sitting with fellow students I thought of thumb lashing but it won’t work was my second thought, I rushed towards my LAB, dropped my bag there and went straightaway to the place where the monster was sitting…..

“So you are coming now??” He said

“NO no NO sir I came in the morning but had gone for Lunch so returning just now” I replied

Jesus!! how can you go for lunch so early ?? It’s not even 12:00 (I felt like saying better look at your watch man!!)

“OHH slip of tongue sir I wanted to say breakfast …by now my fellow members were giving me “NO one can save your ass beta” …….kind of glance

Okay show me your diary and tell me about your project progress, work etc …& .I narrowly escaped from a nervous breakdown …..

Later I asked my fellas why the hell you didn’t SMS ME or call me when he came, I could have easily bunked??

We gave you a missed call but It didn’t go or might have reached now check your Mobile…!

WTF?? I HAD ONLY HEARD OF PENDING SMSes, NOW CALLS TOO ………….JESUS !!

The very second day I went to the bus stop and unexpectedly, I could see the crowd moving away from me, I thought I took half an hour bath today but It doesn’t seem to be enough. Suddenly HE no She …well whatever appeared in front of me …the socially deprived category of homo sapiens ....well a EUNUCH to be precise, asking for money ….& .Damn!! I had no change ….I took out a Rs10 note and to avoid the bastard I handed her/him …I was happy that the repulsion of the crowd was not because of me,Bathing did work !!... after a few mins I went to a shop to get the change for 100 bucks but it wasn’t open ….So while returning there he came again asking for money and talking in telgu (which I don’t understand even after spending three years in Hyd) I said I gave you 10 bucks which you don't desreve just two minutes back you asshole …but he replied something which I didn’t get, I tried to avoid him but he picked up a fucking stone threatening me …at the very moment

I FELT IF I HAD A GUN I WUD HAVE HAD SHOT HIM RIGHT THERE OR IF I HAD THE POWER OF HULK I WUD HAVE HAD SMASHED THE WHOLE CATEGORY IN TO BITS AND PIECES TO WHICH HE BELONGED….the freaking psycho !!

The other days were pretty fine and I was busy like hell going early in the morning and coming back around 9 in the night ..finishing job at my internship station then going for my GRE class ..I devoted a little lesser time to my blog than usual, but on demand I changed the template, my usage of words, and I noticed that my BLOG VIBES appeared something like this ??OG VI??? to the computers which were not compatible enough so I changed the font to a simple one and implemented slide show option which is cool I feel !!

YESTERDAY It was raining cats and dogs and we had the matinee show tickets of ROCK ON…a very awaited movie in our circle,as the songs are ultra cool, and it’s a totally new feeling to listen to Hindi ROCK..we were 9 ppl and the perfect scenario for watching a movie and shouting in theater ..!!

Four bikes and 9 guyz so we had to break the rule & after all ROCK IS ALL BOUT BREAKING THE RULE, we zoooooomed to the multiplex in the rain and felt as if the rain drops were like a little needles piercing in our faces all the while …we reached fully drenched and thank god They did not switch on the AC inside …the movie was just like what I had expected, a little slow but nice ..cinematography is cool and the songs are awesome. While watching the movie I realized that it’s not about a ROCK BAND it’s Just about a band and I think so many ppl like me,have misinterpreted the title

….When PICHLEY SAAT DINO MEIN started I was jumping on my seat literally and that’s when I decided that I am goona write on this for sure …!!

P.S :PICHLEY SAAT DINO MEIN MAINEY KHOYA………… KABHI KHUD PE HANSA MAIN AUR KABHI KHUD PE ROYAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa !!

Thursday, August 28, 2008

ĤĔŶ ĎÚĎĔ ŴÁŃŃÁ ŦÁĞ ÁŃĎ ßŐŐŹĔ ؟؟


Have a puff, have a sip!
What say?
This ain’t that bad, It’s branded plus filtered, it’s awesome, and this ain’t having no hard concentration just having 8 or 9 % of alcohol that too only poly phenols and a little of pectin, ethyl alcohol and glycerin so it won’t harm you...it will not make you dizzy either ….go for it, don’t hesitate ..shall I pour ? shall I lit it up ?

NO THANKS!!!

I don’t drink neither do I booze so don’t force me!
Hey without boozing or fagging how will u know how it tastes?? (Isn’t that a great way of provoking?) well every time I come across this kind of situation I try to avoid and my success rate is 100% so far, I never gave it a try ..the reasons are many like :

1• I hate the idea of taking smoke inside the body …already there is enormous pollution all around why give your lungs a hard time intentionally??
2• I am a passive smoker already coz my flat mates are like giant chimneys producing tons of smoke daily and there is hardly any escaping!
3• I don’t consider it as a stud’s job..rather It’s a time pass without actually being one …
4• It cost’s you 2000 bucks out of your pocket money plus a little of your life per month even if you are not a chain smoker and you compromise on cheap brands …(I don’t earn yet and my father doesn’t send me any money to fag ....Nobody’s DAD will)
5• I see my friends getting hyper and out of control if they don’t get that very early in the morning ..they tell me they get constipation without it …..ewwwwwwwwww !!


People have been telling me that Drinking is no offense ..It is not harmful at all .You can drink and stay healthy ....I say I am healthy even without it ..I don’t want to be extra healthy ….and keep your advice with yourself and give it to your children and grand children..they will think that their DAD and granddad are very cool and happening .get a life .weirdo !!

Reasons enough for not boozing:

1• I can’t leave a habit so easily if I acquire it so I stay away from acquiring any
2• I hate drunkards and their after drinking behaviors ..(I don’t know what I will do when I am not in my senses ..my secrets will come out LOL )
3• I know It’s royal at times but I ain’t royal I am simple ..and even the day I become one I won’t touch it I have promised my mom.


SO it doesn’t matter if you are smoking BLUE POINT, BRISTOL, BUGLER, CARLTON, ESSE, GAMBLER, JAN WILLEM, KENTUCKY'S BEST ..they all will ultimately kill !!!
And it doesn’t matter even if you drink JACK DENIEL’S, FOSTER, JHONNY WALKER, SIGNATURE,WILD TURKEY OR Ma CARTHY’S ……they all are drinks with varied alcohol concentrations and pernicious so better stay away !!


P.S :I know It sound’s like a lecture but I thought of writing it coz I have to turn my mode of blogging in to something useful after LOL’ing a lot in the recent times !!

"SMOKING THRILLS BUT KILLS!!"

CHEERS !!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

ŚĤĨŤ ĔXŤĔŃĎĔĎ :):)

Ppl reading my blogs are either going bonkers or have -ve senses of humor but considering the fact that BlOG is a place to show off ur creative audacity in any form,I would appreciate either cases depending on my mood :)

well I am saying this coz when I finished writing my last post then there was this frqnt demand to extend it (though it may nt appear in the comment sec) from the readers and frm the nerds ,living near by, they contributed a few more amalgamations of jocular outbursts which will beatify any damn pissd off person or can piss off any normal living creature depending on how one takes it ….so I decided to extend the shit coz I had curtailed it earlier fearing tht I wud be advised to stop blogging or take rat’s poison ..but since neither happened I have gained the courage to extend the shit ….

“BABY DON’T U REALLY KNOWS HOW MUCH I THE HATES THE INDIANS??”

“Sorry??”

“EGG-JACTLLLLLLLY !!”………

“GHOST OF THE LEGS DON’T LISTEN TO THE TALKS !! ( Laatoon k bhooot battooon se nahi maantey)”

Preity zinta: HAVE A GOOD DAY !!

Javed Jafferi: MAIN GOODAY GUDDUIYON SE NAHI KHELTA …….!!

THE ABOVE PICTURE WAS AN ATTEMPT TO COPY JAVED JAFFERI'S STYLE (caution:CIGAR IS INJURIOUS TO HEALTH...) and btw I dun smoke u can see tht It's plastic covered It was for my frnds !

Wid Javed Jaffery’s ultimate dun-knw wat language …we tried to purchase the cigar but twas so bloody expensive tht we cudn’t feel like wasting the money for simply flaunting so we bought a cheaper one:

And with ever green dialogues of 90’s flick ANDAZ APNA APNA we ver so addicted tht ….talked evrytym like AMIR’S OR SALMAN’S way:)

“AILLAAAAA, UII-MAAAAA !!”

“AAP DAANI HAIN,GYAANI HAIN,ANTAR-YAAMI HAIN,SHAKTIMAAN HAIN,BUDHHI MAN HAIN BALKI MAIN KAHTA HUN KI AAP PURUSH HE NAHI HAIN ….#$#%??? ………..MAHAN PURUSH HAIN... MAHA PURUSH“ lol :D

And last diwali two major films released and neither shud be called a movie coz OSO was only commercial & bullshit and Sawariya was not at all commercial rather kinda opera suitable for NRI’s but still the dialogues f OSO were kool specially this one :

Yanna ramba,yanna yelliae rakkhi atti patti katti….munnedar munnedar munnedar ….yannnnaaaaa rascalllaaaaaan mind ithhhhhhh !!!!”

“U fat cat u bad cat u rascalaaaan cat …!!”

wid this yrs DUD 'tashan' there came yet another ishtyleeeeeee of calling names and ispeakingggg Hinglish !!!

THE ISHTYLE,THE FARMULAAA,THE BHAIA JEE KA TASHAN....that we put 'THE' before evry damn name..like :

VIVEK became 'THE VIVEK'

ENNY became 'THE ENNY'

Kooler names than watever their parents have given ...LOLZZZ (no offense)

We saw a movie made in Hyderabad on Hyderabad ..it’s called ’THE ANGREZ’ and OMG the dialogues are ultra kool in typical Hyderabadi lingo and kinda cheap toooo ( but do we care ?) a must watch for all the hyderabdi’s or secunderabadi’s …..

“AREY TU LAL WALI MERCEDES BHIJAAA NAKHO RE BAWA PAHLEY TU SAFED WALI BHEEEJAAA RE .....MEREKO KAMA HAIN BAHUUUT KAMAAAN HAIN “

I knw the accent is not familiar to most f u ..twas the same case wid me till 3 yrs back wen I was new here !!

Well I think this time I have given a good dose f my weirdness..... now this is the best I could put to annoy the ppl out der …..and If u dun get annoyed .I wud understand tht there is either some serious prblm wid ur grasping and analyzing ability or my assuming and narrating ability !!!


Get annoyed I literally beg ..ur ANNOYANCE ...dun let my efforts go wasted plzzzzzz ...!!

Saturday, August 23, 2008

I lívé wíd a búńćh őf fŕéákíńg áíŕhéádś !!

I had promised in my last post that I vil pen down our bizarre habits and berserk imaginations we blabber after evry single Hollywood or Bollywood flick we come across..!!

So here it goes ..our flatmates dun hesitate being boisterous even inside the film theater but coming outta it and talking in the same accent and uttering the exact words evry now and then is a cult we can't live widout....be it even the cheapest in the recent times and the most annoying of all times..(WHO CARES ??)

"GUD JAAAABB" Will Smith at most have uttered 10 times in HANCOCK..but we surpassed him by 990 times ...same case Wid his dialouge "ASS*ole" frm the same movie,now it happns to be the calling name f sm1 in very closed proximity ..(can't tell his name for obvious reasons!!)

"KYA LOGE SUSHAAANT??" or "RAMESHHH ZARA LIGHT TOH DIM KAR" from "JANE TU YA JANE NA" made such an impact that we replaced each others name by those of ramesh and sushant and wid UNBEATABLE PAPPU fcourse (Coz we love PAPPU,his RADO watch, his GUCCI perfume and his DANCING inabilities!!)

now comes the cheapest of all from this year's release '123'(heard f it ??) "PAAPAAAAAAANNNNN" .........it's not the stretch it's the nasal implementation in pronouncing it that makes it so weird but we love doing it (coz WEIRD and WE ..ain't two different thngs).........
."YEH THE BOMBS HAIN"......

bombs ???@#%
why 's' wid bomb PAPANNNNNN.......???
PAAN-PAAN KAN 'S' HAIN KAHIN BHIN LAGAYEIN"....(can't u see the irritating accent DUH !!)

'KISMAT KONNECTION' became 'SHITMAT CONSTIPATION'......(the dialogues I mentioned in my last post ..go thru)..HImesh Reshmiyaa's famous irritating no's along wid other cheap songs we play all the times to jus insure tht we are nt getting bored .....(coz it's better to get irritated than to get bored ..at least u have ur senses working properly in the former case)

And now the time for our worship IDOL IRFAN Khan wid his careless freaky attitude and dialogue delivery .....WE watched HAASIL (again i wonder if u hv heard f it.....but neways jus to increase ur G.K lemme tel u that he Won 1st film fare award for the best actor in a negative role for that movie .......'year' I dun remember) a few days back ..and from then we have this U.P wala accent burned up....a few of the regular dialogues are:

"KAA BHAIA KHEL KA MAZA LE RAHE HO TUM??"
"ABE MAUKEY KA NAZAKAT NAHI SAMJHTEY HO BE"
"HUM APKEY ZAZBAATON KI KADAR KARTEY HAIN"
"KA BATIYA RAHE THE BE KANYA SE??"
"SALA HUMLOG GORRILLA HAIN GORRILLA WAR KIYA JAYEGA,GORRILLA JANTEY HO KI NA-HI ??"

blah blah blah ...

I hope u wasted ur time in reading this,and now u are going to suggest me to stop blogging or might be wondering if it's the worst shit that has come thru ur way in recent times ...well vomit out ur anger,frustration...watevr in the comment section ..try to deliver some dialogues along wid it ..and make this post the cheapest and the worst in the history of blogs !!

P.S: It's ALWAYS GUD TO BE A MANIAC THAN TO BE A MORON :):):):)

Monday, August 18, 2008

Á ßŐŔĨŃĞ ĎÁŶ ŴĨŤĤŐÚŤ ĨŃŤĔŔŃĔŤ

I asked my Flat mates …
"why internet is not working?" they replied "coz it's not working!!" ......
I asked 'em again "why internet is not working?" they replied "coz it's not working!!"
now those f u whu hav seen Kismat konnection wud understand this ...silly joke, though the movie sucked big time but this dialogue hangover still prevails...actually We have a habit f uttering the dialogues or monologues all the time f the latest movie which we see ..till the time when either we get bored f it or it’s replaced by yet another funny & witty one. I wud probably write bout those in my next post….so for time being let’s abide by the title ….

So like I said Internet was not working and we were as jobless as Indian gov…thinking wat to do ..?

Hence We thought, we thought again ……again we thought…and then we thought let’s not think anymore….let’s switch on the computers (yes our flat is like a cyber café ..with 5 computers in the drawing hall)..which generates the heat equal to that of a rod heater a few mins after when it’s out f da bucket …!! We switched it ON and out of my habit I clicked on the Mozilla Icon ..It din work and internet explorer said “page cannot be displayed”…and yahoo mssngr’s smiley faded wid colorless fumes irritating me, Gtalk was reluctant for getting connected…so it was now confirmed that Airtel office had disconnected our service …coz f our lethargic habits of passing the job to each other 4 submission of the bill…..and the last due date had already passed..!!

I was missing my blue colored orkut homepage..(cz I hate orkut themes),my list of green, red and pink colored frnds on gtalk and my few net frnds on yahoo msngr. I was missing My BLOG fcourse ..and was wondering how many new comments wud have come by now....google too cz I Had to search for the latest movie shows and their timings, Domino’s contact No. (yes I search it evrytym I have to order for a pizza..I dun store it in my cel phn coz its memory is full) in case starving situation arrives.....I was missing youtube ( yes I watch all the recent reality show videos there..we dun have a TV tunner card yet!!) My friends ver missing Online games like DOTA warcraft…(yes they are freaking gamers)…So they decided to have an Intra Flat tournament in FIFA .coz that was the best time pass idea they cud come up wid …

I decided to be an impartial spectator…1st match Enny Won against Mayuresh or shud I say Germany won against MANu ?

Well after the 1st match I decided to read a novel .called “The Inscrutable Americans” ...which I am in process f reading since 15 days…but It din work ..so I decided to watch Singh is King ..on my comp(of course the pirated version …which is a crime I knw ..but I din download it …It came from unknown sources so um not da culprit)..but that din wrk either ..movie was crap at least for me ….so I decided to chill out and have Tropicana twister..which tastes gud…when u are bored..and jobless….!!

After having it I returned to my flat and to my surprise I saw guyz working their heart out on orkut and gmail …WOW ..the Airtel office hadn’t disconnected it cz the landline wudn’t have worked if it was more than merely a signal failure …we shud have analyzed it …

SILLY ENGINEERS!!!

But before this kind of situation arrives once again we hafta send ‘Vivek‘ a.k.a ‘Y-vek’ to pay the bill ..coz his internship station is nearer to the AIrtel office and of course coz he has to play DOTA warcraft !!!!!