Monday, July 14, 2008

The ENEMY is IN ME !!!!

Being self critical is important, isn't it ?

when u start analyzing yourself and u understand, what is ur drawback, what is killing u, what is immuring u, wat pulls u back, wht sucks u more thn gravity,wht is the uncanniest & most recumbent form of urs .........then believe me u have met ur REAL ENEMY !!

I have met mine & I knw him for more than 20 yrs by now ...and i assume tht it's my negative half....HE is the one whu is responsible for the disasters i have produced,for the embarrassments and humiliations i have gone through, the failures i have seen & the opportunities i have missed !!....

I try to fight with him( i.e, improve myself), i try to kill him( i.e overcome my drawbacks)...but he is stronger than me ..he has his abode in me,he has his grasp over me and i think so is the case with everyone in the world, the negativity is always stronger than positivity....provided u dun try to abolish it..provided u dun try to understand it before it's too late..well... i have understood it but i abhor myself for understanding it so early yet so lately in my life...!!


I regret over a few knotty decisions i made in my lyf tht turned out to be lethal, cz i was amateur i was a kid at tht time but the impact of those silly mistakes are very limpid now.....i damn my inner ENEMY for tht ...so I decided to write on him coz thts the best i can do about it other thn demolishing it 4ever....so here's my creation here's my thought & I presume tht u can also perhaps relate it too urself....and if u can't ..i wud think i am unique and cursed :( :( !!





The ENEMY is IN ME


I scream inside, an extreme STRIVE,

To shut it up, or cut it and RIVE.

A crux crucifying my sense of SATIETY,

Pseudo me, unfolding the path of LAXITY.

It pulls me down my negative HALF,

I kill myself as a matter of LAUGH.

Confidence versus fear and the later always WINS,

I have it in me and guess what it MEANS??

It quenches me, but no one can SEE,

I fight with myself, coz the “the ENEMY is IN ME!!”



He is equal in age but has greater ENORMITY,

He is louder in impact, but a silent ANONYMITY.

He is a parasite and he resides in my BRAIN

Sucks my intelligence and returns me STRAIN.

Illusion is on, I see the end with DISMAY,

He is a part of me or is it the other WAY??

Battle has begun and arena is my MIND,

Ruthless the game is and I need to UNWIND.

Someone stop him he is on killing SPREE,

I am half dead coz ”the ENEMY is IN ME!!”


29 comments:

  1. wel'l itseems u r very lonely n deep thinker...but gr8 persons cum 4m a deep thinkin n de always dare 2 do any thing de like jus da way u did...u r creating such a new things wich v feel dat de exists bt not enclosed 2 ppl..doin gr8..!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. wowww
    verry good!
    congratulations ashwin!!!
    ^^

    ;)

    ReplyDelete
  3. y do i feel dat u hav a mindset of a rapist???is dis ure creation...

    ReplyDelete
  4. @ setu
    i dunno y u feel so :P
    but yeh u got it ryt these are all my creations ...i vil put many f 'em soon ....

    ReplyDelete
  5. the enemy is nt in u only bt in every1...bt ppl hardly accept it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. well i really liked ur "enemy in me".. u know its true that our negativity always outcomes our positivity, but believe me there are times when ur devil inside will save u from situations which u don wanna encounter!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I really felt the things i was lacking in myself after reading ur poem "The ENEMY is IN ME"

    That really made me think over it twice , of wht details u had mentioned in it were if actually true ........... and they seemed to fit into the jig-saw puzzle of my life pretty well ...

    After wht I read i wanna disclose my inner secrets wth u and to all who read this !!!

    "I say that i am a fearless girl, i blame my close one's for my failure knowing that it was me all the way at fault..... but today i wanna admit that the one pulling me back is no one but me ...... It was me who was afraid of LOOSING , of FAILURE ....... I have lost many wars (between my mind and my heart)........"

    "I AM GONNA OVERCOME MY FAILURE NOT BY EXCUSES THAT I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN GIVING BUT BY MAKING CHANGES IN MY ATTUTUDE TOWARDS LIFE AND LIFE'S MEANING !!"

    ReplyDelete
  9. bro..its fuck lnggggg...
    wil tk sumtime to go thru,think n leave a comment tht it desrves//
    chal cia arnd tc n god bless..
    wil paka do d needful ;)

    ReplyDelete
  10. very few ppl knw d enemies within demselves..n since u knw them really well..its xpectd of u 2 ovrcum all f em or atleast mak sincere efforts 2 do so..n 8s alwyz gud 2 knw ur -VEs bt 8s alwyz bettr 2 xpress ur +VEs n count on them....gud luck 4 ur upcoming blogs..... :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. hey dere......
    um d same mr/miss/mrs anonymous

    nice one again dis tym....
    u r rite..negativity is actually powerful.
    but its jst ur positivity dat comes wid faith .,,wich can save u....
    so ONE HAS TO B POSITIVE......
    and forget d fears....and do watevr u feel...
    and knw wat ..ur "ENEMY" vl b killed :)

    ReplyDelete
  12. @ mr/miss/mrs anonymous

    seems u are afraid of me.....cz gud comments never cm wid anonymity !!

    and if we hv some sort f bias betwn us i wud try to sort it out but phuleeeeeze dun be anonymous or else I vil have to chnge my settings !!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well ashwin its nice to see that you have taken the patience to see and understand yourself. However, I believe that you should never try to fight your negative side. Instead when it expresses itself take it as a challenge to correct what you have done and you will learn a terrible lot of new things about yourself. Many times i have noticed that its through this negative side that i have learned some of the most important lessons in my life at an very early stage. If i learned them later it would have been a lot harder. you see its the knowledge of my darker side that gives me the power to see things differently, To appreciate what i have learned that others have not yet learned.
    If you have seen the third part of the matrix you will see the same. Towards the end of the movie Smith tries to kill neil but neil goes on fighting and finally agrees to bow down to smith. when smith changes neil into his clone smith and neil both die. This is because one was the positive and the other was the negative part of the same person. You can never get rid of the negative side it is a part of you.

    ReplyDelete
  14. @ khirad thts y i said ...i knw him 4 more thn 20 urs and it vil continue life lng .....btw thnks for writin !

    ReplyDelete
  15. hmm.........
    is dat really too tough to recognize .who i m...huh!!!
    its actually too easy ..and i think u got it ......
    hav my own reasons of anonymity..
    and 4 d case of sorting thngs out......well dats upto u...of wat u wud do......
    if u can undrstand..well nd gud...if not ....i cant help..
    lykd ur blogs....dats y thot of writng comments....
    odrwise ur settngs...and ur wishes....watevr u want!!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. @ anonymous

    alryt thnks !!
    i won't change my settings but won't my chnge my mind either !!
    cz wt i beliv is tht

    "u never get a 2nd chance to make ur 1st impression" ..!!

    ReplyDelete
  17. a nice cocktail of prose and poetry...But you know what...There is absolutely no reason to cultivate a negative thought cos only that is what holds you back from attaining everything you ever wanted to :)

    Cheers!

    ReplyDelete
  18. u speak sense... u think like me too.. i like tht

    ReplyDelete
  19. which radio jockey u speaking abt?

    ReplyDelete
  20. oye he is no RJ for me... mera bhaiya hai yaar..

    ReplyDelete
  21. where dos he have the time dude...lol

    ReplyDelete
  22. homeeeeeeeee??? noooooooo... i call him bhaiya...lol.. n we are soul siblings....samjhe?

    ReplyDelete
  23. first of all ...this was nt any attempt 4 creatng ny impressns or as such...
    next thng i dunno watevr impressns u talkng bout cz actually din get thngs clear til nw..and den evn if dere s sumthng wrng den mr. peter "impressns do sumtyms prove to be wrong or misinterpretd...."
    nyways....din actualy mean to start thses thgs...
    jst wantd to appreciate ur creativity...dats it...:)
    al d best...

    ReplyDelete
  24. i dun want to get in to all these either (specially in my blog )!!!
    and plz cut it off now !!

    thnak u !

    ReplyDelete
  25. hmmm. it takes some sort of sanity to understand and find out to which side the enemy resides in u. nice post man. keep writing.

    ReplyDelete
  26. yes....so true..its so strange,we get caught in this fix..it seems this would never end and no one can EVER understand this phase..

    ReplyDelete
  27. this is my 2nd most favourite poem of urs :-w first being contradiction is me \:D/
    it's hard to pen down such confusing stuff like this and make the reader understand what you are trying to say, and you did a terrific job through this one \:D/

    ReplyDelete